Forever My Friend
by localizy
Summary: Season six kinda of following what will happen on the show, but in my own special way. Now finished.
1. Lately It Feels Like You Can’t Take Anym

**Disclaimer: I do not hold claim to the Gilmore Girls.**

_AN: This is my first attempt at Gilmore Girls fanfiction. Please review at let me know what you think. I accept all sorts of critcism very well. Thanks._

Chapter One: Lately It Feels Like You Can't Take Anymore

Rory sat in her newly remodeled pool-house attempting to watch _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_, waiting for seven o'clock to come when she would be "asked" through the intercom if she would like to come to dinner. There would be no getting out of it, it was a required invitation and to say no would just lead to questions and eventually both her grandparents would come over to the pool-house just to check on her and make sure she ate something "respectable". Grabbing a burger was not considered respectable fare, nor was anything microwavable, ready-made, or coming from a box. Basically, unless she wanted to starve, she had to eat with her grandparents.

By the time _Charlie _found his golden ticket, Rory had reached her limit of _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_, took it out of the DVD player and put it in a box already overflowing with movies. This was her Lorelai box. Actually, there were 10 Lorelai boxes and more were being made everyday and that isn't counting the mental boxes that were too numerous to count shut away instead her head. Her mother didn't want anything to do with her and that was just fine. Every time she thought of her mother, Rory just got angry all over again.

'I didn't do anything wrong. I'm an adult and I have the right to make my own decisions about school and my life. She isn't paying for school and she didn't even go so she wouldn't understand. She has no right to be angry at me; she is the one that didn't tell me about getting engaged to Luke, she's shutting me out. This is not my fault.'

The more she thought about it the more angry she got. The thought of her mother getting engaged and not telling her was just maddening. Rory wondered if her grandmother knew about the engagement. Unless the world was ending, all signs were pointing to Lorelai not revealing the engagement to Emily. The fact that she was now persona non grata to her mother, basically at the same level as her grandparents in the world of Lorelai made her so angry that she threw on some sandals and marched over to her newly repaired car and drove off.

_Meanwhile in Stars Hollow_

Lorelai and Paul Anka sat on the lawn in front of her house watching the men work. Luke, in his rush to get TJ done with this job, re-hired the newly returned Lane, made her a temporary manager, and hired Zach and Brian to help run things while Caesar cooked, just so he could keep an eye on TJ and be sure the house ready as soon as possible. Indian summer was in full swing and with the pleasant weather he had shed his flannel and was working in just a T-shirt. The sight of her man working was causing her thoughts to go toward the dirty side. To keep herself from climbing up the ladder like a chimp on hormones, she turned her head away and her eyes landed on the tree. She smiled a secret little smile of happiness remembering Luke's moment.

"_Moon's out! Moment's here! Let's go!"_

_Lorelai quickly jumped up from the chest she was sitting on, attempted to compose herself and walked to the front door where she met a smiling but concerned Luke. _

"_Hey, what's wrong?" asks Luke quietly._

"_Nothing. I'm fine, just peachy keen. What's this I hear about your moment?" responds Lorelai._

"_Well, traditionally, the man would ask the woman he loves to marry him, but you being the crazy lady that you are, asked me," explained Luke as he walked Lorelai to the tree in her front yard where the moonlight was shining through the branches giving the two of them standing under the tree an ethereal glow. Without any further words, Luke drops to one knee and pulls a box out of his pocket. _

"_I know you already asked me and I gave you my answer, but I wanted to give you this because it will not fit my finger and I think it would look much better on you. So wanna wear my ring?" Luke asks with a small grin on his face. _

_Lorelai looked down at the face of the man that she loved, the one she already knew she couldn't live without and just grinned back. She took the ring out of his hand and put it on her finger. _

"_You're right; there is no way you can pull off bling like this. Besides it looks good on this finger, can I keep it for awhile?" she says grinning like a crazy woman._

"_I was thinking 60 years or so."_

"_Works for me. We're getting married," she says softly as Luke pulls her into a tight embrace. _

"_We're getting married," he replies right before they kiss._

Lorelai tears her eyes away from the tree before she remembers the Zima celebration night part two and has to be hosed down. Her eyes land on Rory's window and start to tear up.

'I don't know how to reach my girl. She's lost and staying with people that won't find her, but try and make her into something she isn't. I'm now Emily to Rory and I need to fix this.'

Lorelai jumps up, yells at Luke that she is going to Hartford and to watch Paul Anka before she hops into her car and drives off.


	2. Something Tells Me Girl This is Bringing

**Disclaimer: I own nothing whatsoever.**

_AN: Here is chapter two. I hope you enjoy it. Just so everyone knows I am not a Rory fan and I think that came out in this chapter so I am sorry to those that like her. Oh and in my fashion the titles of my chapters and my storiesare based a various song lyrics I listen to when I decided to be creative. Bonus points if you can guess either the artist or the song! Thanks to everyone that reviewed!_

**Chapter Two: Something Tells Me Girl This is Bringing You Down**

Rory arrived back at the pool house after going to the used bookstore. She needed to escape her problems and reading books was the easiest way to do that. As she pulled up to the main house, she realized that it was nearing dinner time and she that needed to make an appearance before she could lock herself away with her books. As she parks she notices a familiar jeep pulling into the driveway.

'Great this is just what I need another sermon from my mother,' thinks Rory bitterly.

As Lorelai pulls up in the driveway she sees her daughter glaring at her, despising her for coming here. At that look, the look she as often given her own mother, her resolve to make things right weakens but she knows that she can't give up.

"What do you want, Mom? Another chance to yell at me for disappointing you, did you want to tell me that I am not invited to the wedding? Or wait, even better you're probably pregnant? Is that it, you're getting a better daughter to replace your disappointment?" shouted Rory not caring that her grandparents had seen both cars arrive and were now staring out the open door at the two women.

Lorelai heard the hatred in her daughter's voice and looked up with tear-filled eyes toward her. She noticed the looks of shock on her parents face, probably at the news of the engagement. She knows what it is like to disappoint parents and desperately wants Rory to know that she isn't disappointed as much as she is worried about the choices that Rory is making.

"I didn't come to yell at you, or to say that I am pregnant. I just wanted to talk to you, to try and make things right between us," said Lorelai quietly willing her voice not to break.

"There is nothing you can say, Mom. I'm not going back to Yale; I'm doing 300 hours of community service, and working part-time at the DAR as their new member and secretary. You made it clear you don't want anything to do with my choices and you shut me out of your life by not telling me you and Luke are engaged so you obviously don't want me involved in your choices. I don't think there is anything else to say to each other. I'm going to bed now. Grandpa, Grandma I don't think I am up for dinner tonight," said Rory before turning away and marching off angrily to the pool-house.

Lorelai just stares back at her, tears streaming out of her eyes, at a loss on how to fix this. As she turns around to walk back to her jeep she sees her parents standing outside the door dumbfounded at the scene that just occurred. She knows she owes them better than the treatment she just received so she walks up to them, bravely keeping her head up.

"I know you don't like Luke or think he is good enough for me, but he is the only one that is on my side with this situation. I love him and can't lose him like I lost Rory. We are getting married. Even though you hate him and will probably try and ruin this for me I just wanted you to know. However, before you start scheming and plotting I just want you remember that I am happy with him. With everything that is going on with Rory and us, he tries to make me feel better. So please don't ruin this for me, he is all I have left," says Lorelai before turning away and going to her jeep, leaving her parents still standing on the stoop completely and utterly shocked at what occurred in the last 15 minutes.

* * *

Rory entered the pool-house and threw her purse and books on the counter before marching over toward the sofa. She jumps when she sees the occupant on the sofa but quickly recovers and smiles at the sight of Logan fast asleep on the couch. She slowly walks over to him and yells in his ear.

"HEY!"

"Jeezus Rory, you trying to kill me before my father gets a chance too!" cries Logan as he falls off the couch.

"Nah just wanted you off my couch."

"Well, if that is welcome I get perhaps I should just go."

"NO!" cried Rory not wanting to be alone with her thoughts. "Why don't you stay, we can watch a movie."

"Well, I think I can be persuaded to do that. What do you want to watch?" asked Logan heading over toward the boxes of movies that Rory was planning to throw out.

"Not those, they're umm not working, yep broken."

"Rory, half of these have the wrapping still on them."

"Well, they suck. I'm going to return them."

"Rory, I know for a fact that you love Power of Myth. What is going on?"

"I just can't watch those movies, ok. Just lay off," cries Rory before heading over to the bedroom. "You can let yourself out, I'm going to bed."

"Rory, what the hell is going on with you!" replies Logan following her into the bedroom.

"I am fine. Why can't people understand that? I don't need everyone telling me what I need. God, first my mother, then my friends, and now you! I don't need to talk about this. I don't need to talk to my mother because this situation is her fault. If she went to college she would understand. She thinks just coming over here to talk to me is going to make me forget what she did. She kicked me out because I didn't want to go back to school and then turns this situation around so that it should be my fault when she didn't tell me about being engaged. SHE IS OUT OF MY LIFE AND I DON'T CARE! PEOPLE TAKE BREAKS! I OBVIOUSLY DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A JOURNALIST SO I NEED TIME TO DECIDE ON A NEW CAREER! WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS SITUATION! I AM NOT GOING BACK TO YALE!" rants Rory in a fashion that would make Luke proud right before she grabs a picture frame and throws it against the wall.

Logan picks up the shards of glass and metal from the broken picture frame before responding to Rory. He doesn't want to be on the receiving end of the next thrown object so he attempts to choose his words carefully.

"You know I am the last person to talk about going to school. Hell, I have been enrolled at Yale for 4years and barely have completed 3 years. I do think you need to talk to you mother because the two of you are too busy blaming the other, that you aren't listening to what each other is saying. I don't want you to have a relationship like I have with my parents. You and your mother were always better than that. Also, I will say I think the whole no being a journalist decision was made a little hastily, but like I said I am not one to judge. I'm going to go now, unless you really want me to stay and talk more?" Logan says quietly.

"No, go hang out with Finn and Colin. I am exhausted and have to get up early and pick trash tomorrow," replies Rory. "And for the record Logan, she is the one that started this blame game, not me."

"Whatever, Rory, like I said you're too busy blaming and not listening," says Logan as he walks out the door.

Rory watches him leave and walks over to where she put her books. She picks up one and starts to read it, thinking to herself once again that this situation wasn't her fault.

* * *

Lorelai pulls up to her house and just sits in her jeep. She refused to let herself cry on the way home and after 30 minutes of holding back, the tears flow out of her eyes as if a dam inside her is broken. The look of utmost hatred on Rory's face keeps coming front and center in her mind causing her to sob harder at the feeling of loss and inability to fix their problems.

Luke looks up from where he was cleaning up Lorelai's room and sees her jeep out there. He wonders where she is, since he didn't hear her come in the house, when he sees a shadow move in the jeep. He quickly heads downstairs, Paul Anka on his heels, and runs out the front door. He walks over to the jeep and sees Lorelai curled up in a ball on the front seat. He opens the door, picks her up, and with Paul Anka following quietly behind, goes into the house and sits on the couch with her on his lap, the dog sitting at Luke's feet resting his head on Lorelai's lap.

How long they stayed like that Luke didn't know. As he sat there cuddling Lorelai, whispering 'It's ok' in her ear with that damn dog slobbering all over her pants, he glanced at her face. What he saw there shocked him. Not the red, swollen face with make-up smeared all over, it was that the light was missing in her eyes, the look that something in her died and would never come back. At that moment Luke knew that no matter what he had to do, he would get that look of loss and hopelessness off of Lorelai's face and try and bring the sparkle of life back into her eyes. He just didn't know what to do.


	3. We've Been Through Some Changes

**Disclaimer: I do not hold the rights to anything creative at all. I wish I could figure out how to invent and therefore own spray-on iron so that my clothes would be a little less rumpled and a little more crisp.**

_AN: First, thanks bunches to everyone that reviews. I really would like some imput so even if you review to be like hey you are really mean about Rory that's cool cuz it is a review! I hope everyone likes this chapter, I know I made Rory really, reallyUber-Witchy (bad word insert) but it will help later on in the story and I needed to show more how it is affecting Lorelai in this chapter and the evil pod Rory was needed for that affect. Also I threw in some obscure movie hints. 10 points to the first person to get them(there is only 2). So please do not hate me for my own Rory hatred, you should be proud I didn't kill her off like i did in many of my other drafts of other stories that didn't get posted because I kept killing her off in Wicked Witch of the West type of ways. REVIEW!_

Chapter 3: We've Been Through Some Changes

_**Three months from the previous events**_

Lorelai was sitting in her newly remodeled living room watching Luke move around bookcases so that they were in the "most non-visible place in the room but yet are easily accessible". The house was completely finished, the workers worked extra hard what with the food and "shows" that they were getting almost daily and finished what was judged to be a six month job in just slightly over three. Nearly everything in the house was changed with the exception of the kitchen and Rory's room. The door remained shut, no one going in or asking about since the day Lorelai blew up at TJ. The windows were open and Lorelai was wrapped in blanket waiting for Luke to stop fussing so they could start their scary movie marathon. October was in full-bloom with all of its craziness; Taylor was preparing for the annual All Hollow's Eve extravaganza, the Dragonfly was booked nearly every weekend for fall weddings, and the Poe Society was back for its yearly Poe readings. The only thing that was missing was Rory's birthday celebration plans.

Luke finished moving the bookcases around and started a fire in the fireplace before turning out the lights for the movie. He glanced at Lorelai at the couch and tried once again to think of a way to get that light back in her eyes. He knew she tried to act normal and not think about Rory and the fact that not only did she refuse to talk to her, but changed her cell phone number so that her mother couldn't even attempt to contact her. Luke agreed with Lorelai that it wouldn't be right to set a wedding date without Rory being there to help plan and participate but the way things were going it seemed like they were never going to set a date. Luke leaned back on one of the couch and pulled Lorelai against him, at the same time pushing Paul Anka off the couch and unto the floor. He once again was shocked at how thin Lorelai was becoming. He knew that she was barely eating with the same exuberance that she once did, but it still shocked him at how the lack of food was affecting her. As she started the movie he looked at the coffee table and noticed the lack of junk food. All that was there was some popcorn, plain barely salted popcorn.

"Hey, you want me to get you some Red Vines?" asked Luke softly, already knowing what the answer is going to be.

"Nah, I'm not very hungry."

"How about some coffee?"

"Not thirsty."

Luke knew that after that night in Hartford, Lorelai stopped drinking coffee and eating junk food. The connection that those things held to Rory was making it too difficult for her to even enjoy the thought of them and hadn't touched any of it since then. He couldn't help asking however hoping that maybe her old self would come out. As they started the movie and he held Lorelai tighter Luke thought back to the last few months.

_After the fateful meeting in Hartford Lorelai made many attempts to contact Rory, calling, emailing, regular mail; all in an attempt to try and make Rory understand that Lorelai wasn't disappointed or ashamed or her but rather worried that she was doing what Lorelai did best, running. Rory changed her email address and cell phone number and the letters were all return to sender. She effectively cut herself off from Lorelai and refused any association with her. When Sookie asked Lorelai and Rory to be god-mothers to her children she thought it would be a chance for them to talk, however Rory came, held Davy, said the appropriate things at the appropriate times, refused any eye contact with her mother or Luke, and left the minute the baptism was over. Lorelai managed to keep her head up the entire time, but the second they left the reception she collapsed in Luke's arms and he had to carry her home. He once again realized that this schism was slowly killing her. _

_With this knowledge he bit the bullet and went to Hartford and tried to talk to Rory. When he knocked on the pool-house door and watched as Rory answered it, he was shocked at the hardness and lack of understanding on her face. The conversation that followed was not much better that the look on her face. _

"_What do you want Luke?" Rory said almost bitterly. _

"_I just wanted to talk to you about your mother."_

"_What mother? The mother that kicked me out, the mother that will not leave me to make my own decisions, or the mother that sends her fiancé to come and get me to talk to her?"_

"_Rory, this is killing her. Don't you care?" Luke had asked, shocked that sweet Rory was acting like this._

"_She made her bed, now she can lie in it. I'm going to bed; I have community service in the morning." With that last statement she closed the door in Luke's face leaving him standing there stunned at what just happened._

"_Luke?" he heard a female voice ask in disbelief._

_As Luke whipped around he knew that Emily Gilmore was standing behind him and a shot of anger went through him, but he held it down. He wasn't here to fight with her parents, he was here to help and fighting would not be helping._

"_Mrs. Gilmore. Hi…I was…umm…I just wanted to talk to Rory."_

"_Did you get anywhere with her?"_

_Luke was shocked at the look of concern on her face and realized that whether or not she hated him, that right now came after whatever was going on with Rory._

"_No, she doesn't want to talk to anyone connected with Lorelai I guess."_

"_Is she okay?" asked Emily quietly with a slight tremor in her voice._

_Luke looked at her trying to read her expression in the pale moon light. For once, dealing with her wasn't like dancing with the devil; she actually seemed concerned about Lorelai. He decided to answer her honestly as he could without betraying any confidences that Lorelai put in him._

"_I think she knows what you went through when she left. I just hope it doesn't kill her. She might talk to you now, maybe give her some news about Rory, it would help." With that Luke walked to his truck._

"_Luke!" He heard Emily call and stopped as he was about to get in his truck. "Tell her I am sorry."_

"_It might sound better coming from you, but I will tell her," Luke said as he drove away, leaving Emily with her thoughts and Rory staring out the window._

Lorelai shifted in his arms, bringing him back from his thoughts. She looked up at him and tried to smile like she used to but failed.

"Have you returned your mother's phone call yet?" he asked her gently. He had told Lorelai about his visit to Hartford and that her mother wanted to talk to her. He was shocked when Emily called a week after the meeting to try and talk to Lorelai. Lorelai being herself was scared to talk, but after listening to Emily call once a day for week, finally got the nerve to call her back.

"Yes, task-master. We are having lunch tomorrow at the inn. She seemed actually genuine when we were talking, Luke. She apologized for what she and dad did. I have never, ever heard Emily Gilmore apologize, it scared me." Lorelai said her own voice trembling.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Luke asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Nothing other than that my daughter hates me, she is not acting like herself, and it's her birthday in 6 hours and for the first time in 21 years I will not be there to tell her the story of how she was born. Why does she hate me so much Luke? What did I do other than try and not let her give up on her dream?" Lorelai said before breaking into body-wrenching sobs.

As was routine for the couple now, Luke pulled Lorelai on his lap and tried to comfort her the best he could. Paul Anka walked over and lent his comfort too. Luke wondered once again what he could do, but other than finding a DeLorean and stealing some Plutonium he was out of ideas. Rory wasn't acting like herself, Lorelai's grief was slowly killing her, and Luke had officially run out of ideas.

"I need Rory," whimpered Lorelai before falling into an uneasy sleep.

"I know, baby. I know."

_AN2: Isn't Luke sweet. Group AWWWWW now. Next chapter will have more Rory/Logan interaction, a bit of Emily/Richard, and the lunch between the elder Gilmore Girls. Also a mysterious character will appear driving a beat up car and wearing a leather coat but missing a certain chip on his shoulder. (no points for that I am trying to follow the season as best as I can but still be creative!)_


	4. I Don't Know Just What's For Real A

**Disclaimer: I own the lovely green down vest I am wearing because here in Wisconsin it is cold, but I do not own the Gilmore Girls.**

**AN: _I know I said you would see a lunch and an appearance but I got this written and it seemed to work. Besides I like the suspenseful way I left Emily. Once again I would love some feedback on this, I am starting to get an ego about it because nothing negative is said. I am really that good? Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I am a chronic bad speller. Nobody got the obsure, but not really if you were young in the eighties to early nineties, movie references! Come on people! If nobody gets them by time I put up Chapter 5 I will put what they are there. Thanks again to everyone that reviewed before, you make my day. Please review again! Let's see if I can break 10!_**

**Chapter 4: I Don't Know Just What's For Real Anymore**

Emily arrived at the Dragonfly promptly at 1 pm. She was rarely late, if ever, for meetings of any kind. She parked her car, but paused before getting out. As she sat in her car, bracing herself for what she would see once she stepped inside the Dragonfly, Emily thought back on the conversation she had with Richard before leaving Hartford.

"_Are you going to go meet Lorelai?" Richard asked curiously. _

"_Yes, did you want to come as well?" responded Emily._

"_No, that may be a little too much right now. She did just agree to have lunch with you, let's not push it."_

"_Do you think she will talk to me?"_

"_She did say she would have lunch with you, so obviously she expects talking. I just hope this will lead to something good for all parties. I still cannot believe that what she said about Mitchum and his family was true. I nearly punched that man at the benefit when he said Rory was not good enough for his son if she had a career and he was just "covering all angles and that I would understand". As if I would understand telling a girl she was basically worthless. That job completely changed Rory and not for the better. She isn't acting like herself, Emily. She refuses to talk about returning to Yale ever, she snaps at anyone that mentions Lorelai, journalism, or school. She is acting like a spoiled brat who doesn't get her way and the only one I can think of who can stop it is Lorelai."_

"_Luke says that the rift between them is killing her."_

"_Well go and see. Apologize and tell her that we now understand that she was completely right. Also, could you please give her this for me?" asked Richard while handing Emily a sealed envelope with Lorelai's name on it. _

"_What is it?"_

"_Just a note for my daughter. Now go before you arrive late and we all know that Emily Gilmore never arrives tardy to anything."_

"_Oh hush. I will be back later. Try and keep an eye on that maid. She has shifty eyes." _

Emily, concerned about her daughter and wanting to see if Luke's words were true and not 'Lorelai Barrymore,' hurried out of the car and up the steps of the Dragonfly. At the sight of the check–in desk she froze, her hand flying up to her throat. The woman standing at the desk could not be her daughter. The fashionable business suit, rather than clinging to her form, hung off her like something one would get at Goodwill. Dark circles surrounded her eyes and her love of life was missing. That much was apparent from the way she was talking to Michel. No joking was taking place; there was no torment on either side. Lorelai was calming and quietly talking to Michel about something and Michel was nodding but the oddest thing was the way he was looking at her. Rather than the typical mock disdain in his eyes, there was concern and fear. That perhaps was the scariest thing she saw.

_

* * *

Meanwhile back in Hartford_

Rory slipped back into the pool house after attempting to sneak into the main house for some books and food. Instead she found her grandparents talking quietly in the foyer.

_"She isn't acting like herself, Emily. She refuses to talk about returning to Yale ever, she snaps at anyone that mentions Lorelai, journalism, or school. She is acting like a spoiled brat who doesn't get her way and the only one I can think of who can stop it is Lorelai."_

She kicked her shoes off into a corner and plopped down on the couch. She couldn't believe the conversation that she just overheard. She had run out after her grandfather called her a brat. If she hadn't heard it she would have never believed it. After all, she was the nearly perfect grandchild; she was the debutante, Chilton graduate, DAR member, studious girl that they basically worshipped. That was until she stole the yacht.

'I am not a brat. I am just confused. I am angry at my mother for not allowing me to make my own choices and for keeping her secrets from me. I will not let anyone influence my decisions to return to Yale. I will not be a journalist.'

Rory repeated this over and over to herself while willing the tears not to flow. She thought back to her brief conversation with Luke nearly two weeks before.

'I was in the right there. He had no right to try and guilt me to talk to Mom. She has her life and she doesn't want me to be a part of it, so I won't be. Nobody understands it, not even Logan. Out of anyone I thought he would, considering what his parents do to him,' thought Rory while thinking back to the conversation that she had with Logan after she kicked Luke out.

"_Who was that?" asked Logan sitting in bed as she walked back to the bedroom. _

"_Just Luke. He tried to guilt me into talking to my mother," responded Rory climbing back into bed with him._

"_Well, maybe you should. She is making an effort to reach out."_

"_She should have thought about that before she kicked me out and kept secrets from me. Besides, she would just give me grief to go back to school and dump you. She hates you because you made me into a 'bad' girl'."_

"_Rory, she has been trying to get in touch with you for months! Luke just said it was killing her. Why won't you talk to her?"_

"_I don't want to talk about this. Unless she can respect the choices I make, then she has no part in my life. She is no better then Emily was to her. I am done with it all. I am not going back to school to become a journalist, I don't care what anyone says," ranted Rory. "Now I am going to sleep. Unlike some people, I have trash to pick tomorrow."_

"_Fine Rory. I just hope you know what you are doing. You and your mother were never, ever like she and Emily were, or even what my parents are to me. If you think that she is just trying to manipulate you rather than apologize and help you then fine. I am going back to Yale. I have a paper due tomorrow and I need to finish it."_

"_You could finish it here."_

"_Honestly, I don't want to see you right now," and with that he walked out the pool-house doors to his car and drove back to Yale._

Rory was positive that she was right about this. Her mother wouldn't give in to unless she got what she wanted. Rory got her stubbornness from someone and all signs pointed to Lorelai.

Rory looked around at the pool house and her eyes landed on the pile of presents for her birthday. For the first time since she could remember her birthdaywas being celebratedby with only a small gathering of the LDBanddinner tonight with her grandparents. Her eyes sought out the present wrapped in Hello! Kitty gift wrap. She knew it was from her mother but she had no desire to open it. To open it would be opening all the buried thoughts and feelings that she has had for the last few months and she wasn't ready to deal with that. She was still sure that she was right in her decision, what anyone else thought be damned. Rory looked away from the present and saw the time. Logan was coming to take her tolunch to meet Colin's new love interest now that the milkmaid wised up and went back to wherever it was she came from and was going to be her any minute. The thoughts of her mother could wait. As Scarlett O'Hara once said, "After all, tomorrow is another day."

**AN2: I will attempt to get Chapter 5 up this weekend at some point. Lunch will be there and also perhaps and appearence by our favorite hoodlum. Oh yeah, does no one know the song title and lyrics that I am using as chapter and story titles?**


	5. Who Am I to Go at It Alone

**Disclaimer: I own a plethora of books. No rights to TV shows. **

**AN**: **Still no one got the movie references! And they were easy! The references were _Batman_ (the first one) "have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?" which is what the Joker says before he killed Bruce Wayne's parents and _Back to the Future_ involving the DeLorean that ran on plutonium to go back into time! And these are famous movies!**

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed and read my story. If I forgot you I am so sorry, but I will try and thank everyone that left a review.**

_**Tammy: **Thank you for being my first review and a positive one at that. I do think that Lorelai was going a bit Emily, but her reasons for it were much sounder than the way Emily acts towards Lorelai. She just didn't want Rory to become possibly Christopher and give up on her dreams._

_**Lukeandlorelailove: **No as you can see they didn't meet on the road. Have no fear this will all be resolved in another few chapters. I think you all will be surprised at what I have planned. _

_**SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney: **I am glad you loved it in the early chapters. To quote a cell phone commercial how about now?_

_**ProFfeSseR: **Thank you for your review. I am sorry about the Dutch reference; I meant no harm by that at all. I also enjoy your stories and can't wait for a sequel to "it doesn't make any sense"._

_**GilmoreLover: **Thank you for your review. I am a die-hard Rory dis-liker. I will not say hater because she occasionally has her moments though last season they were far and in-between. I am planning something big and then perhaps stop making her so bitchy (can I say that on here?) Thanks again._

_**kckgirl: **I would like to thank you for getting to my allusions of the fact that Lorelai did go to college while working full-time and when you consider all the sacrifices that she made for Rory the return attitude disgusts me. Hence, my evil Rory; it is my way of therapy because I cannot sit and yell at my television all night. It irritates my boyfriend (who yells at me that they are fictional and that leads to a fight and so on)._

**Ok enough of that. I know my Rory is way out of character for the show but there are so many things that irritate me about her that it comes out. Like I have mentioned before I have written many a fic that have not been posted with me killing her off because her attitude toward her mother irritates me that much. **

**I could rant about this for pages but I won't just know that I have my reasons. **

**Alright enough Author Notes. On to the fun!**

**Chapter 5: Who Am I to Go at It Alone**

Emily was frozen in place in the entryway of the Dragonfly. The sight of her daughter, who was obviously not well, was almost too much for her. She was about to turn around and take a moment outside when she heard Lorelai.

"Mom, you're here. Just give me a minute to finish up with Michel and we can go to the dining room. Sookie is excited to be having lunch again so she made a whole new menu."

"That will be fine Lorelai," responded Emily, nearly shocked into silence at the sight of her daughter's nearly lifeless eyes.

Lorelai finished talking to Michel, and was walking back toward her mother when Emily caught sight of Michel waving at her and mouthing the words "No Rory" to her. That gesture nearly undid Emily's strong grip on her emotions but she held rein and followed Lorelai to the dining room.

"Here mom, let's sit at this table, it has a nice view. What would you like to drink?" asked Lorelai while nodding to the waiter standing near their table.

"My daughter will have a coffee I am sure and I would like an iced tea with a twist of lemon," Emily told the waiter not seeing the wince on Lorelai face at the mention of coffee.

"Actually, iced tea sound wonderful, give me a glass, too," Lorelai said quickly.

Emily was about to comment on that when she saw the slight shaking of Sookie's head through the glass window in the door of the kitchen.

'My god, does everyone know that Lorelai is nearly losing it?' Emily thought astounded at how terrible her daughter looked and how everyone seemed to be barely holding her back from the edge.

"Luke wanted to come too, Mom, but I told him not to. I still am not sure what you wanted to talk about and if you were planning to attack him and my choice of him I didn't want him here for that," said Lorelai firmly hoping to make it known to her mother that she would not be changing her mind.

"I was wrong about Luke, Lorelai. I am sorry about the things I said and did involving your relationship with him. I know now that he is a good man and I truly am sorry," said Emily quietly truly regretting her actions from the previous winter.

Lorelai was shocked again at how easily her mother apologized. However, history proved that Emily Gilmore rarely thought she was wrong and always had a plan B.

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why are you sorry? After all the scheming and plotting that you and dad did I find it hard to believe that suddenly he is an 'acceptable' match for me."

"I was being Lorelai."

"What! You were being me?"

"No! I mean I was acting just like your grandmother. I was doing some cleaning and came across a picture taken at my wedding of myself, your father, and your grandmother. I never noticed the look on your grandmother's face before, but it was one of complete disdain. All my life I struggled against that woman, and here I am acting just like her. Luke many never be able to act properly in high society, but I will not treat him like he was worth nothing. The two of you are obviously in love, I see that, and have seen that for years. I know he will be able to take care of you; I just didn't want him to take you away again. That was why I did what I did."

"I am confused mom. You pulled that stunt at the wedding so you wouldn't lose me."

"I thought that if you married Luke, you would never come back and at least pretend to be part of our family again."

"Mom, did you know that Luke parents are both dead?" Lorelai asked quietly

"What does that have to do with anything?" responded Emily confused at where the conversation was leading.

"Hear me out Mom. Luke believes that family is very important. It is why he never gave up on Jess or his sister. It is why he gave TJ that contracting job and tried to help him realize that he is better building things like shelves rather than houses. Even if we got married and had kids, he never would let me stop seeing you and dad. He probably would demand it," Lorelai finished softly reminded once again of why she loved Luke.

"When are you getting married Lorelai?" asked Emily, curious and hungry for wedding plans.

"Where is that waiter? I'm hungry."

"Lorelai?" Emily asked slightly confused at the rapid subject change.

"We are waiting to set a date Mom. Do you know what you want to eat?"

Emily decided that the subject was best left dropped and ordered the grilled chicken for lunch. She was flabbergasted that Lorelai's choice for lunch was a salad, but once again, seeing this time both Sookie and Michel shaking their heads from the dessert buffet, she decided to let it rest.

Lunch passed quickly, both women too involved in their thoughts to chat much. Lorelai was wondering how she could ask Emily for news of Rory without breaking down and Emily was curious at the constant presence of Michel and Sookie in the outskirts of the dining room.

"Mom?" Lorelai asked quietly.

"Yes, Lorelai?"

"Is Rory okay? She won't talk to me anymore and I just need to know if she is okay."

"Well, she seems very angry at everyone. Your father and I mentioned her taking a few classes next semester in different subject matter and she stormed off. We think perhaps you were right and we should have nipped this in the bud at the start. We were wrong and should not have let ourselves be influenced by Rory's emotions. As it turns out, you were completely right about the Huntzbergers; Mitchum did give her that internship to crush her dream. She fell right for the trap and now is sinking slowly into a black hole," Emily said keeping her eyes on her daughter's still form, watching as her eyes filled with tears and her body slowly began to shake.

"You and dad can't get through to her, either? She isn't going to go back to school, she is just going to give up. My baby girl is gone, isn't she? Where did she go mom? I want her back! WHERE DID SHE GO!" screamed Lorelai before crumpling into a heap on the floor.

Emily jumped up from her seat and hurried to her daughter. Sookie helped her bring Lorelai to her office, while Michel went to call Luke. Lorelai just sat against a wall of her office, sobbing quietly with her arms wrapped around her knees, rocking back and forth like a small child who lost the most precious thing to them. Luke rushed in the office, paused for a second before gathering Lorelai to him and talking softly in her ear. She looked up at him and it looked to Emily like part of her daughter came back. She nodded her head and reached up for Luke who pulled her to her feet and led her out the door to his truck and home. As Lorelai was leaving she nodded to Emily, who reached out and touched her daughter's arm. She was touched by how gently Luke handled Lorelai, was about to follow when Sookie stopped her.

"It's best if she is just with Luke now, Emily. She really won't want to see anyone else."

"Does this happen often?"

"Not really."

"What about the guests? It can't be good for business if she breaks down in front of them."

"Oh, she never has done that, it usually is just her sobbing in her office till Michel hears her. He would get me and then call Luke to come and get her. In front of the guests, she is still the perfect manager, giving them the best vacation possible. It's just away from them, with things that remind her of Rory that set her off. It's why Michel warned you not to mention her and why we hovered. She has been worse these last few days because of Rory's birthday and we didn't want her to completely lose it," explains Sookie, concern about her friend filling her voice.

"Well, this has been an enlightening trip. Could you do me a favor and tell Lorelai that I will call her tomorrow and if you could see that she gets this. It is from her father," said Emily, tears filling her eyes at how much pain her granddaughter was causing her daughter.

"I will Emily. It really was nice of you to try and fix this, but I think it is something that only Rory can do."

"Let's hope that she will do that soon."

Emily said good-bye to Michel and also thanked him for taking care of her daughter. The Frenchman was embarrassed that his actions were caught but accepted the thanks anyway. His parting words were to tell Rory what she saw, that maybe it would make a difference.

On the drive back from Stars Hollow, Emily reflected on the relationships with her daughter and Lorelai's with Rory. It took twenty years, but she finally accepted the fact that for Lorelai to be the woman that she was, she needed to leave. She needed the freedom to make she own choices and to let herself give her daughter that same freedom as well. She also remembered the fact that even leaving her parent's house Lorelai never cut them completely off, unless she or Richard did something completely underhanded. She was usually always there for holidays and birthdays. She would occasionally call to let them know that they were okay. Though they didn't always know what was going on in the girls lives, it was that knowledge that they were okay that prevented Emily from breaking down completely.

She often admired the strength that Lorelai had and the life that she led. Emily knew that if she were in Lorelai's shoes now, she would not be as strong as Lorelai was. She would not be able to hold her tears and anguish inside; waiting for a time that she was alone. That took an amazing strength of character that Emily was proud her daughter had. However, there was that sick part of her that was glad that when her daughter left she still had contact with her. That is where the difference between Emily and Lorelai's relationship and Lorelai and Rory's. Emily knew that the reason that Lorelai stayed in contact with them, even in those early years, is because she knew as a parent that her parents would worry. By occasionally calling them, she squelched some of that fear, and that allowed her the freedom just to be herself.

Rory didn't have that option. She was not forced to grow up as Lorelai had been, so she never had to make choices like that. Perhaps that is why this situation is so difficult for her. The choices she had to make over the years were never that difficult. She had her pick of Ivy League schools, her major was decided by the time she was a small girl, and any other decisions were made with pro-con lists and the advice of her mother. The fact that she had to make a decision not based on fact and what she could write down, but by reading people and if they had any other motive in saying what they said is what caused all these problems. That is difference between Lorelai and Rory. Lorelai being brought up in the high society world knew that most people only helped others for what they could get in return, but because Rory grew up in a small town with neighbor helping neighbor and where her every achievement was met with praise, she was unable to deal with the situation that was recently handed to her. Emily knew that in order to mend this rift between mother and daughter she would have to be the one to talk to Rory and make her see that in the real world she was in now the motives of others far outweigh any work, pro-con list, or information she could 'google' up. She needed to realize that she was needlessly hurting her mother and ruining any chance she had of realizing the dreams that not only her mother had for her, but also the dream she once had for herself. As Emily turned into her driveway, the stubbornness the Lorelai and Rory both have took hold and she refused this time to back down. Her family's well-being depended on it.

* * *

Rory was walking up to the main house for her birthday dinner with very little excitement. She was refusing to think about past birthdays and the fact that for the first time that she could remember she wasn't woken up at 4:04 am to hear the story of her birth. She didn't realize that part of her was hoping she would hear it until she saw that she had been sitting up staring at the clock for the better part of an hour thinking that her mother would somehow tell her the story. Rory pushed all those feelings down and walked into the house and to the living room for cocktails. 

"Rory, you're here. Happy Birthday! What would you like to drink?" said her grandfather, getting up to give her a hug.

"Umm, I will just have a coke, thanks."

"No, Rory you are of age now, what would you like to drink?" said Richard again.

"I'll just have a glass of wine, I guess. I am supposed to drive out to Yale later so I need to have my wits about me," said Rory, wishing she was anywhere but where she was.

"What are you going to be doing at Yale?" asked Emily, trying to figure out the best way to bring up her ultimatum.

"Logan and his friends are throwing me a party at some pub. He is picking me up at nine."

"That's nice. Oh look, the maid amazingly has dinner ready on time. Shall we go in?"

"Wow, this is really nice Grandma," said Rory, curious at the slightly cold attitude both her grandparents are exhibiting towards her.

"Well, you only turn 21 once. I'm only sad that your mother couldn't be here, I am sure that she would have liked to celebrate your birthday with you," said Emily cutting to the chase. She and Richard agreed that this angry Rory had to go and if they had to issue an ultimatum to her for that to happen then so be it.

"I thought I told you both I didn't want to talk about Mom. She made her choice and you both agreed she was wrong for kicking me out," Rory said angrily.

"Rory, your grandmother and I both think that you are treating your mother unfairly and taking advantage of the kindness that we gave you. You have had more that ample time to decide on a new major at Yale and return to school, however you refuse to even entertain the idea of returning. It is still, however, your choice. You insist on getting a glimpse of the real world and your grandmother and I have decided that you will get that. Starting next month you will be paying us a sum of $200 a month rent on the pool-house. That is not including the cable, electricity, and internet that you receive in the pool-house. Since that is included in our bill we will work out a sum that will be paid additionally to us for those amenities. I do not see that coming to more that $75 dollars a month. We believe that this is more than fair for you considering you are also completing your community service and when you consider the fact that the pool-house has been recently redecorated and worth much more that $200 a month I am sure that you will find this fair," said Richard sternly, hoping to make known to his granddaughter the consequences of wanted to live in the "real world."

Rory sat there in stunned silence. She could not believe that this was happening. Yes, she made more than enough to cover rent, but she was still stunned that her grandparents would do this to her.

"Mom put you up to this, didn't she. I know you went lunch with her today, grandma. What did you tell her, that her BRAT was being unmanageable and I wasn't thinking of returning to school. She came up with this idea, she didn't want me to move home and couldn't believe that you guys gave me a nice place to stay. Make her pay rent and then she would go back to school," Rory said standing up and staring with her fight face at her grandparents.

"No, Rory, your mother can't even talk about you without breaking into tears. I just don't understand why you won't talk to her, don't you understand what you are doing to her," pleading Emily, the image of her daughter sobbing on her office floor coming back to her.

"I don't care, don't you get it. SHE kicked ME out. SHE was the one that didn't tell ME that she was getting married. She doesn't want me to be a part of her life unless I do what she wants. I don't understand how you are all the sudden on her side," Rory yelled right back at her grandmother.

Emily had had enough at this point. She would never be able to forget the sight of her strong, independent daughter sobbing on the ground of her office like all the life is out of her and she would not back down.

"The reason, my dear Rory, is because she wants more for you than what she had. She cared for you and gave you much more than we ever, ever could have given her. We were wrong by just taking you in, it gave you no chance to think of the repercussions your action of up and quitting Yale would have on yourself. Now perhaps you will think about what you want in life, because we are doing exactly what should have been done from the beginning; letting you experience the life your mother had to lead the second she walked out that door. Richard, I am going to bed, please see the maid cleans up. Rory, we don't do this out of anger, it is because we want you to really understand what is happening to you. Happy Birthday," said Emily as she kissed a stunned Roryon thecheek and Richard on the top of his head before leaving the room.

"Rory?" asked Richard, trying to get a response out of her.

Rory looked at her grandfather, anger and shame showing in her eyes. Richard hoped that this would make her think, but perhaps it would only push her away farther.

"You will have the first rent check tomorrow, grandfather. Please do not try and talk to me for awhile. Tell grandmother the same." With that, Rory stormed out of the room, without another look.

Richard sank back down in his chair, heartsick at what was happening to his family. He just couldn't believe the change that came over his precious granddaughter. He went to the kitchen and told the maid they were done with dinner and both he and Mrs. Gilmore were retiring. He went to the open door of his study and looked at the painting that was done of Rory all those years ago.

"Where did you go, child? Where did you go?"

With that he turned off the lights and went to the stairs to bed.

* * *

_Several hours later_

"To my dear friend Rory, may the sun always shine, the clouds always be gone, the alcohol be free, and the women, excuse me, I mean MEN always be loose. Now let us raise our glasses to Rory Gilmore on this her 21st birthday!" toasted a drunk Finn at an exclusive club in Hartford.

"Hmm, somehow that toast sounded better on my birthday. Can men even be loose?" asked Colin while drinking his beer.

"He stole the toast from me. I used it on his birthday," responded Logan who was looking at Rory on the dance floor with Juliet and Stephanie.

"Hey man, is she okay?"

"Apparently she got into a fight with her grandparents and now has to pay rent to stay at the pool-house. This isn't good Colin. She isn't the same girl anymore. She is starting to scare me."

"Why don't you try and stop it?"

"Don't you think I have tried to talk to her? She refuses to talk to anyone anymore. If they question her at all they are screamed at and she won't talk to them. If I leave, then who will she have?"

"I suppose. Is this really that bad?"

"She is slipping into a dark place, Colin. If someone doesn't pull her out soon, she won't come back."

_**AN2: I already have part of the next chapter plotted out so look for it Wednesday or Thursday. It will have a talk between Luke and Lorelai, Richard's letter, and an appearence.**_


	6. I Just Think if We Keep Our Hearts Toget

**Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, except a fantastic car that is built like a tank. **

**Author Notes: Sorry it took so long, life was in my way. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. I was going to do long drawn-out notes that thank everyone, but I will do that next time. Thanks for everyone's feedback and keep it coming.**

**Chapter 6: I Just Think if We Keep Our Hearts Together**

Lorelai laid in bed staring at her new ceiling, a sleeping Luke next to her, unable to sleep because her mind was moving at a million miles a minute. Her mind was desperately trying to think of a way to fix Rory and their relationship. Short of faking her death a la Jake Bauer she could see no possible way of getting Rory to talk to her unless she wanted to. She knew that the motivating factor in all this mess was hurt on both sides. Rory was hurt because she thought Lorelai didn't understand and thought that Lorelai had shut her out of her life. Lorelai was hurt because all they had worked for, for so long, was tossed aside like it was last week's vegetables, with no thought or reason behind it. The only disappointment Lorelai felt was not toward Rory, but rather to herself for failing to teach her daughter to fight for her dreams. Lorelai rolled over toward Luke, trying to get comfortable enough to sleep. She looked up at Luke and once again realized the man had the patience of a saint. She knew that he was waiting for her to talk to him about what was going on between her and Rory, but he didn't pressure her. Today, after her Meltdown at the Inn, he just brought her home, drew her a bath, and made her dinner. After they had eaten, he just held her while they watched inane television before going to sleep.

Lorelai got out of bed slowly, trying not to wake Luke. She softly went downstairs, Paul Anka following her, thinking that some tea and infomercials would put her to sleep. As she went to sit on the couch, she caught sight of the letter Sookie had dropped off earlier. Apparently her mother had given it to Sookie after she left, saying it was from her father. Lorelai picked it up, recalling the concerned and compassionate look on her mother's face as she left the inn today. It would appear that she and Emily have finally reached a turning point in their lives. Lorelai made a mental note to call her mother tomorrow and thank her for lunch, the apology, and perhaps make an apology of her own. She took the letter and curled up at the end of the couch and began to read the letter from her father.

_Dear Lorelai,_

_Since you agreed to meet your mother for lunch and as she was planning to apologize to you for the bad manner in which she treated Luke and for our turn-about in the Rory situation, I decided to take a chance and write this as an apology of my own. As head of the Gilmore family, I automatically thought I knew the best way to deal with the situation with Rory. She came to me in tears that she was confused and lost and just needed time to think, time that she said you were unwilling to give her. I let her sway me with her emotions and then take advantage of the situation at hand. The situation should have been dealt with in the manner you described and I ignored your thoughts. I am truly sorry for how things turned out and for how I handled the whole mess. I do hope that you can forgive me. _

_I would also like to use this time to congratulate you on your engagement to Luke. I know that I did not believe that he was good for you, but after hearing you talk about him and see his concern not only for you but for Rory as well, I have realized that you were right. He is a good, kind man who will take care of you and your daughter in any problem that would come up. I know that you and I have not always seen eye to eye in any situation, but as your father I would like to walk my daughter down the aisle. I am also sure that your mother would like to be involved in the planning, but that choice is up to you. Please let your mother and I know of your plans. _

_Finally, Luke had mentioned to your mother that you are not doing well. Don't hold his slip of tongue against him; he is just concerned about you. Considering the close relationship that you have with Rory, I can well imagine what you are going through. My dear girl, I am going to give you some advice that my mother once gave me at a difficult point in my life. "Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."_

_I have been lucky to be surrounded by strong women in my life; my mother, your mother, Rory, and you. Lorelai, do not let this separation stop you from being the strong, vibrant, and independent woman that you are. You and Rory will make up and fix the relationship that you share; I have no fear of that. You just need to believe that for yourself. I am proud of you and all that you have accomplished. Rory, though she is lost now, is a strong, intelligent woman and will be okay. _

_Love, your father_

Lorelai read through the letter twice, amazed that her father showed that much emotion and that he had that much faith in her. She sat, holding the letter in her hands, staring blankly into space, tossing her father's words around in her mind. Yes, her father did know her, more than he thought. She was putting her life on hold, unwilling to live unless all parts were there. She was dwelling in mistakes she made in the past and was afraid that she would make again in the future. She was not living in the today, and she should be.

Lorelai looked up, staring through the ceiling, seeing Luke in her mind's eye. The man has been so patient with her, allowing the wedding date to be postponed, comforting her all the time, not questioning her rapidly changed eating habits. She suddenly realized that he was scared that she would run away from all her problems like she always had in the past and he was trying to subtly prevent that.

"Lorelai?" came a worried, husky voice from the stairs.

"I'm on the couch."

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" asked Luke, crawling behind Lorelai as she moved to make room for him behind her.

"I couldn't sleep, so I came down to make some tea and learn about bow-flex, but I found this letter that Sookie dropped off," responded Lorelai, while snuggling into Luke's chest as he pulled her towards him. "It's from my father. He apologized to me, Luke, for the Rory situation, for how he treated you, for everything."

"At least he realized he was wrong about us," said Luke pulling her closer, glad that her family had apparently accepted them together and wouldn't interfere anymore.

"That's not all. He wrote some crazy advice that Gran gave him years ago. He said that it helped him through a tough time and that he hoped it would help me. He called me strong and independent, and that he was proud that I was like that. I don't think I have ever, ever heard him say he was proud of how I grew up. It's just amazing."

"What was the advice?"

"'Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.' I think in other words, I am supposed to make lemonade of my lemons, play with the puppies life gives out, and make the best of the situation."

"How are you going to do that?" asked Luke, almost scared of the answer.

"I think December 15th is a good day. It usually snows around then, so we may even have snow! The best things happen in snow."

"What are you talking about?" asked Luke, not daring to hope that she was actually talking about setting a date.

"For our wedding, Coffee Man. It is just enough time to make it special, but not enough for my mother to make it into a society affair. I just want a small ceremony outside, with snow hopefully, and a reception at the inn, nothing glamorous or expensive."

"What about waiting for things to be right with Rory?"

"She can make her own decision to be there. I am not going to cut her out. I will keep trying to get her to talk to me, to think about going back to school, but I am sick of letting it consume me. It's like I let myself get as lost as she was, but the crazy thing is that I know what I want. Right now, I really want a cup of Luke's coffee, but in the future, I just want to be Mrs. Backwards Baseball Cap. If Rory wants to be there to see me get married, then that is fantastic, if she hates me that much that she doesn't want to be there, well the day won't be that fantastic, but I'll have you so it will be ok," said Lorelai to a stunned Luke, with a wink and a kiss at the coffee and baseball hat comment.

"It's too late for coffee. You can have some tomorrow. Come on, let's go back to bed," Luke responded after a full two minute pause.

"I want coffee now! Come on, I haven't had any in weeks. Please!"

"Tomorrow, I will make you two whole pots. Let's go," said Luke with a smile as he picked up a squealing Lorelai, excited at the thought of two pots of coffee.

"Welcome back, Crazy Lady," whispered Luke in her ear as they went up the stairs.

Lorelai just smiled and kissed him, mentally adding calling her father and thanking him on her to-do list for tomorrow.

_

* * *

Several Weeks Later _

It was a week before Thanksgiving in Stars Hollow and Taylor was in his element. It was the holiday season and with that came festivals, food drives, charity events, and any other event that came to his mind. Planning was what Taylor did best and right now he was planning to have Luke put Thanksgiving decorations in his diner. Luke, however was just ignoring Taylor's pleas; he was just serving his customers and waiting for Lorelai to come in and tell him how lunch with her parents went. His patience was running out and he was about ready to kick Taylor out.

"Taylor! No! I am not decorating. I said I would put up ONE flier for your food drive and I allowed you to put lights on the side of the building that you are renting from me, but I will NOT decorate MY diner. Now LEAVE!"

"I just don't understand why you won't put up a turkey or two?" asked Taylor, still trying to persuade Luke to show some town spirit.

"Taylor, if you don't leave now, I will have batting practice with your head," said Luke glaring menacingly at Taylor.

"Fine, fine, if you have no town spirit, then that's fine. I don't want to see you at the Turkey Festival, Lucas," said Taylor as he rushed out, almost knocking into Lorelai. "Lorelai, I don't know why you are marrying him."

"Many reasons Taylor, many reasons," replied Lorelai with a wink and smile for Luke.

Luke grinned back at her while walking over to take her bags and walk her to the seat next to the register.

"It's almost five, I thought that you were going to be back much sooner. Does that mean that lunch went well?" asked Luke while pouring her a cup of coffee.

"Oh, coffee how I have missed you!" said Lorelai with a kiss for Luke before deeply drinking her coffee.

"Lorelai? Lunch? How'd it go?" asked Luke with a hint of impatience.

"It was okay. I finally convinced my mother that we want to be married here in the town square, that you won't be wearing a tux, and there will be NO fancy trimmings. She finally agreed that the dress I picked out was pretty and she didn't even mention her caterer, which means she is fine with Sookie catering. That in it took almost three hours and now I am exhausted."

"Did you guys talk about Rory?"

"We agreed that since she is just now starting to talk to them again after the whole rent agreement thing, that it probably wasn't best for me to come for Thanksgiving. I don't want her to feel like they are forcing us to come together and I don't want her to think I forced them. She isn't sending my letters back anymore, which is a step up from before, but no one knows if she is reading them. Mom said Rory hasn't mentioned the fact that I am getting married or has she said anything about going back to school. If she wants to acknowledge it, the ball is in her court I am not going to push it. Is that couch still upstairs?" said Lorelai stifling a yawn.

"Yeah, you wanna go lay down?"

"God, yes. I am glad that my parents and I are on better terms, but every time I talk to my mother about the wedding I just get a gnawing pain in my head. If I didn't want to marry you so much, I would just say screw it, let's live in sin," said Lorelai with a wink and a kiss for Luke.

"Just go upstairs, I'll bring you up a burger later," Luke said, while rolling his eyes at her words.

Luke watched her go up and sighed before heading to the kitchen to give Caesar his break, thinking about how Lorelai changed these last few weeks. He knew that she was still hurting because of Rory, but was glad to see that she was no longer giving up on living her life. She seemed happier these last few weeks, not breaking down as much, eating like she used too, and preparing for the wedding. She wrote a long letter to Rory; apologizing again for not telling her that they were engaged and explained to her that she wasn't disappointed in her, but more disappointed in herself that she didn't teach her daughter better on not giving up her dreams. Lorelai also told her the date that they were going to be married and her hopes that Rory would come to help plan and to be her maid of honor. She ended the letter by asking Rory not to give up because of what one person says to her, to prove him wrong by living the dream she long had for herself, and that no matter what she decided to do with her life, Lorelai would still love and be proud of her. She sent the letter a week after setting their wedding date and they still haven't heard from Rory. The thought that Lorelai would not have her daughter and best friend there on her wedding day made Luke sick, but he also realized that the only thing he could do was to be there for Lorelai through it all.

Luke finished Lorelai's burger and told Caesar and Lane to close tonight before heading up the stairs to his apartment. He noticed that she was still sleeping and decided that the burger could wait since she still wasn't sleeping very well. Luke put the burger in the fridge before pulling a book that Jess had given him to read. He didn't get more that three pages into it before he too fell asleep.

* * *

Jess drove his new car up to the diner, parking it right in front of the ice cream shop, smiling when he thinks of the fit Taylor will pitch when he opens in the morning and sees a car parked in his spot and then finds out that it belongs to Jess. He continued to chuckle to himself as he used the hidden diner key to open up the door and then headed up to the apartment above. Luke had told him that if he felt like coming for Thanksgiving that he could stay at the apartment, so Jess had no issues with throwing open the door and turning on the light. He had assumed that since Luke moved in with Lorelai that he wouldn't be there, so the scream that welcomed him stopped him in his tracks. 

When Luke heard Lorelai scream he fell out of the chair that he was sitting in and sat up to see Jess standing, stunned at the door and Lorelai laughing at him on his couch.

"Jess, next time you come barging in can you do it a little quieter, so I don't have a heart attack and break my neck," grumbled Luke as he picked himself off the floor.

"Aww, babe, you okay? Hey, Jess. How are you doing? Reaping in the profits of your book?" asked Lorelai, while helping Luke off the floor, attempting to stifle her giggles.

"Umm, fine I guess. I didn't think you guys were here, I'll just go crash at my mom's," said Jess, not really wanted to interrupt them.

"No, don't worry about it. I was just taking a nap, Luke must have fallen asleep waiting for me to wake up. We'll just head home and bring the food. Are you going to have Thanksgiving with us?" asked Lorelai, while gathering up her stuff as Luke took the food containers out of the fridge.

"Yeah, if you are sure Rory isn't going to mind," replied Jess, not knowing the current situation. "Hey if I didn't mention it last time I talked to Uncle Luke, congratulations on the wedding."

"Thanks. Luke, I'm going to go grab some pie and meet you in the truck."

"Ok," said Luke, picking up the book that had fallen on the floor.

Jess turned to him, shocked at the look on pain and misery that had crossed Lorelai's face when he mentioned Rory.

"What's going on? What's wrong with Rory?" Jess asked his uncle.

"She isn't speaking to Lorelai right now. She quit school, stole a yacht, and refuses to have anything to do with her mother, because Lorelai told her she couldn't live at home if she wasn't in school," responded Luke, with a look a concern on his face. "She is doing much better than she was, but I am not sure what she will do if Rory doesn't come to the wedding. I am going to go take her home. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Glad you are going to be here for the holiday."

Jess watched his uncle head down the stairs. He only knew what his mother knew and told him the few times he called her. Liz told him that she hadn't seen Rory about town much, but that Lorelai had said everything was fine when questioned. As he made the bed Luke kept in a corner for him, he decided he would try and figure out what was going on with Rory, even if it meant heading to the mountain itself.

**AN2: Next time we will see a conversation that I have had planned since chapter 2, Rory's thoughts on the wedding (they are really mean, so don't hold it against me), and what is in the package that Lorelai gave Rory for her birthday.**


	7. Who Am I to Tell Her

**Disclaimer: I own the the book (as well as others) the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, no rights to TV, books, or movies. I just like borrowing them.**

**Author Notes: I think my story is coming to an end. I still have a few chapters in me, but I doubt I will go past 10. I don't have the patience or creativity for that. Thanks to allthat read (WOOT) and reviewed (WOOT) and here are some shout-outs.**

**Luvz:_ I am going to try and be zen. Really, really zen. I am not liking it, but I will be zen. ZEN! Maybe I should go back to the sheets that I share with Luke, maybethat will make me more Zen ;). I hope you get a chance to read and review this far, I relish your opinion about my bitchy Rory and I may even thrown in shirtless Luke for you._ **

**Prof: _I hope you don't mind me cutting your name down...I love your new story and I swear I will review it. I am glad I didn't hurt your feelings too bad with the milkmaid. I'm glad you are liking my story and that you keep reviewing it. I must be doing something right._**

**Ace:_ I hope you are the same as Ace7. Thank you for reviewing and I hope I didn't disappoint you to badly. I never wanted Lorelai to get that bad, just needed to make the point that without Rory, life was difficult. You should try and write your own story, you will never know if you are good at it unless you try._**

**Ace7:_ If you aren't Ace then thank you for reviewing my story and look above for more comments. Hope you enjoy this new chapter._**

**Kckgirl: _I had to soften it, orginally I had Richard kicking her out and then she went to Christopher and I didn't want to open that can of worms. I figured for a girl who rarely ever had to pay for anything in her life, $275 is a lot of money. And damn right she needs her nose rubbed in it._ **

**Roween: _Thank you for reading my story and I am glad that you enjoy my Lorelai, I thought for awhile she was a little OOC, but people seem to like it._ **

**To everyone else, thanks bunches and hope to see your comments about this chapter. Like I said I have had the Jess/Rory interaction planned for awhile, and I hope it turned out. I am expecting a lot of DAMN GIRL YOU MEAN! Just kidding, but seriously I would love some feedback. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Chapter 7: Who Am I to Tell Her**

Jess woke up the next morning with a purpose. He knew that in the past he was an ass to mostly everyone that he met, but he wised up to the world and realized that most people just wanted him to be okay, to prevent him from fading away. Though he had been a pain in the ass to Luke, Jess appreciated the effort he made for him and has been trying to pay him back. He wanted his uncle to be happy and knew that he would be with Lorelai. He was still shocked at how unhappy Lorelai looked and the fact that the reason was Rory was slightly unbelievable.

Jess' first stop that morning was to go talk to Lorelai. He realized that Lorelai would probably not really want to talk to him, but in order to help his family like he wanted to he would have to man up and get her to tell him what was going on. He walked downstairs and flinched slightly when he saw the evil looks he was getting from nearly everyone as he poured himself some coffee to go. Jess kept his head because he knew that he changed and that the people most important to him knew that too. Jess was about to walk out the door, but stopped and quickly filled a second to go cup, figuring he would need the bribe.

Jess hopped into his car, grinning at the angry Taylor, before driving to the Dragonfly. He knew that Luke was spending most of his days at the house and that Lorelai, to avoid the chaos at their house, was spending much of the time at the inn. He and Lorelai had a pact of sorts, both really didn't trust the other, but for the sake of Luke tolerated each other. Lorelai, in the last few months, had been nicer to him the rare times she answered the phone when he called Luke, but that didn't mean that she would actually willingly engage him in a conversation. Jess parked in front of the Dragonfly and walked up the stairs, steeling himself for the meeting that was going to come.

Lorelai was in her office, looking over her books from the last month, trying not to think of the fact that this year, she and Rory would be apart for Thanksgiving, not doing their typical orgy of Thanksgiving food. Rory would be with her grandparents and she would have dinner with Luke, Sookie, Jackson, Jess, and anyone else that showed up at the Dragonfly. It wouldn't be the same, but it was all she had and she was going to hold tight to her fiancé and the family of friends that she had left. When she heard a knock on her door, she said come in, expecting Sookie to walk through the door with another cake sample for her to try, so she was surprised when she saw Jess walk through her door.

"Hey Lorelai, mind if I talk to you?" asked Jess hesitantly.

"If that coffee is for me, then talk all you want," Lorelai said after getting over her shock of Jess being at the door.

Jess handed the coffee over to her, mentally patting himself on the back for thinking to bring coffee as a bribe. He hesitated before saying anything, not sure how to broach the topic.

"You know, Luke is proud of you. When you called and told him about the book, he didn't even grumble about giving me coffee or kick Taylor out of the diner. That's a typical sign of happy Luke," said Lorelai, very curious as to why Jess wanted to talk to her.

"Well, after all I put him through when I stayed with him, I'm glad that I can start making up for it. Lorelai, I am sorry too, for how I treated Rory. I know it was no excuse, but I was really messed up, angry at everyone, and took it out on her," responded Jess, seeing again the look of pain that flashed across Lorelai's face with the mention of Rory.

"I'm not going to say that it is okay, because it's not okay to treat someone like how you treated her, but I can understand being angry and taking it out on others. Besides, nobody is to blame for how Rory's life turned out, except maybe me," said Lorelai, who started out strong, but ended on a whisper.

This was the opening that Jess was looking for, but was stunned into silence at the look of hopelessness on Lorelai's face and tears pooling in her eyes.

"Lorelai, what is going on with Rory, why isn't she talking to you?" he asked quietly.

Lorelai seemed to recover herself a little bit and looked at Jess straight in the eye. "No offense, but I thought when she was dating you and then you crushed her, she would be over her teen rebellion, bad boy phase. Everything we spent all those years working for paid off; she got into all those important schools, she was valedictorian at one of the most difficult schools on the East Coast, and she had a future. The last few years though, it seemed as if she was just falling apart. She slept with Dean, did you know that? He was married and she slept with him anyway. When I called her on it, she told me I set a bad example, that she hated me for ruining it. After a few months it was all forgotten, but I never, ever forgot the look on her face when she said she hated me, I never wanted to see that again. So I tried this last year to accept, or least understand, the choices that she was making; dating Logan casually, becoming a member of the secret Yale society, taking an internship with a man that most probably had ulterior motives, and stealing a yacht. Then she tells me she is quitting Yale, she no longer wants to become an international journalist, that I wouldn't understand since I didn't go to college, and it is something that all college kids do. All I could think of was what made my baby girl give up? How did I fail in teaching her to hold onto her dreams? So I went to my parents, who just backstabbed me and took her side. High society people never have ulterior motives; the Huntzbergers loved Rory, I was just making a mountain out of a molehill. I couldn't believe that they were letting their perfect granddaughter give up her dream, the one we all wanted to come true. Then, it all spiraled out of control. Luke and I got engaged and I held off telling her, she found out and didn't understand why I didn't tell her. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't want that to be the reason we were talking again. She screamed at me when I went to apologize and I saw that look again, the look she had on her face when I caught her with Dean. My baby girl hated me again, and this time there was no making it better. She refused to talk to me, changed her phone number, e-mail address, sent any letters I wrote her back to me, and it almost killed me. I spent months in a hell of my own making, until I realized I needed to get up and live. That's where I am now in my life, Jess, that's why Rory isn't talking to me. Whether it is because I didn't teach her to hold onto her dreams tight, or because she hates me that much, it's what I have. I have your uncle, who if you didn't know has the patience of many saints, my friends, a dog who eats my Jimmy Chos, parents who I am suddenly understanding a lot more, and a daughter who hates me. My life in a nutshell, if it wasn't for Luke I would probably be institutionalized or living in a commune with a new name like Raindrop Apple."

Jess looked at Lorelai stunned at the story and sad at the fact that she seemed to blame herself. If anyone knew the effect of bad choices, it was Jess, and he also knew that there was nobody to blame but the person that made the choices. "Raindrop Apple, huh?"

"Like I said, he has the patience of a saint, I don't look like a Raindrop Apple, and straight-jackets never really worked for me," said Lorelai with a bit of grin, grateful that he wasn't pushing the subject of Rory. "Are you coming for the wedding? It would be nice to have you there."

"I'm pretty sure I can get away from my job, so I will be there," said Jess.

"You know Luke doesn't have a best man, and as much as Kirk would love to do that, I am sure he would rather have you, if you wouldn't mind."

"If he wants me to, I'm there."

"Thanks, Jess. Also, thanks for letting me vent on you; I probably needed to do that."

"No, problem. I should actually get going; I have some things I need to take care of today."

"Alright, I'll see you around later. Thanks for the coffee, it's smart to use a bribe when you want to talk to a Gilmore," said Lorelai with a wink.

"I'll see you later. Lorelai?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not your fault, stopping thinking that. Everyone is responsible for the mistakes and choices that they make, it can't be blamed on others," Jess said as he walked out the door, leaving Lorelai to mull a bit on his words.

Lorelai was still mulling, staring into space, when Luke called her cell.

"Hey babe, wanna come see your new and improved bedroom?"

"The wall is finally fixed?" squealed Lorelai.

"Yeah, all you need to do is pick out some paint."

"I love to paint! Luke, I picked you out a best man, by the way."

"Lorelai, I told you, Kirk is not going to be my best man," said Luke, grumbling over the phone.

"Nope, Jess."

"Jess?"

"Yeah, I think you were right about him. He is a good guy, just had made some bad choices. So can I come over and look at our pretty, pretty new room?"

"If it is going to be our room it can't be pretty, how about just nice and comfortable," said Luke, slightly shocked at her comment about Jess.

"Wait till you see the Hello! Kitty quilt I'll make for our bed."

"I'll see you when you get over here, Crazy Lady."

"Love you, Coffee Man."

"Love you too, Crazy Lady."

With that Lorelai, hung up her cell, and left the Dragonfly, confident that maybe her life would work out just fine.

* * *

Rory woke up at 7 am like she did every morning, throwing her pillow at her alarm clock, wishing that she could just stay in bed. It was her last day of community service and she would finally have that yoke off her neck and then maybe her life would come together. Yeah, she wasn't in school anymore, but she didn't need school to be happy or to have a successful life. She had just thrown the best and most successful fundraiser in DAR history, and there were others on the horizon. She ignored the voice in her head that sounded like her mother which kept saying that she should go back to school where she could keep learning new things like she loved to do. She had gotten very good at ignoring that voice in the last few months, just like she had gotten very good at ignoring or yelling at anyone that mentioned her going back to school or talking about her mother. Her grandparents, after the month long silent treatment she gave them, have gone back to how things were before she started paying rent, where everything she did was okay and there was no need to mention how she was living her life. In Rory's mind any mistake she made wasn't as bad as the ones her mother made in the past; she wasn't pregnant, she didn't run away from a generous home, she was kicked out. Rory was still in denial about the whole affair, set on blaming her mother for how things were and she had no plans to leave the river anytime in the near future.

She made herself some coffee and got dressed for her final day of picking trash on the side of the road. As was her custom, she picked up and re-read the letter her mother wrote her, telling her of her impeding wedding. Rory couldn't believe that Lorelai set a date without her; it was as if what Rory thought didn't even matter. She knew her mother loved Luke, but she had doubts that the wedding would actually take place. Lorelai's track record wasn't good, chances are that she would run like she always did when commitment was looming. She ran out on Max, refused to get serious with Christopher, and never, ever had a lasting relationship. She wasn't going to count her chickens and certainly wasn't going to acknowledge a wedding, when her mother didn't even ask her thoughts about it. The voice in her head was calling her a bitch for thinking that about her mother, but she used a mental pillow to shut it up.

Rory got ready to leave, grabbed her keys, and was about to walk out the door when her eyes fell on the package her mother sent her for her birthday. She still hadn't opened it and had no plans to. She shook the guilty thoughts out of her head, walked out the door, and went on to her last 5 hours of community service. After all, none of this was her fault; her mother kicked her out, refused to listen to her reasons for leaving school, and then made hasty decisions without talking to her. She was moving on with her life, and didn't need her mother for it.

* * *

Jess haddriven around for a while after leaving the Dragonfly. The look on Lorelai's face shocked him. The woman was usually so happy and vibrant, that the look of sheer hopelessness scared him. He was glad that Lorelai talked to him though, it was good for her to get it off her chest and it gave him the information he needed. He no longer wanted to get back together with Rory, he moved on after she refused to leave with him, even had a new girlfriend in New York, but part of him still cared for her and he didn't want her to end up like he almost did; bitter, angry at everyone, nearly falling off the face of the planet. He didn't know if he could fix anything, but he did know he had a few things to say to a Miss Rory Gilmore and he would say them.

Jess drove up the Gilmore mansion, parked his car, not caring if the elder Gilmore's saw him, and marched over to the pool house. He knocked firmly on the door and there was no answer. He knocked again, this time a little louder, and still no answer.

"What are you doing here, Jess? I am not leaving with you, so don't even bother asking me!" said Rory, brushing past him, eager to get out of her community service clothes and take a nap.

"Amazing but true Rory, not everything is about you! I just have some things I want to say to you."

"What is that exactly? You know what, I am feeling very generous, I'll give you ten minutes before I call the police and have you thrown out for trespassing."

"What the hell happened to you, Rory? Suddenly you are Scarlett O'Hara and I am trespassing on Tara? Do you even know what you are doing to you mother?"

"Oh, did she send you here? That is just perfect, now she is sending my ex-boyfriends to get me to talk to her?"

"Actually, no she didn't send me here. I am sure she would tell me to stay away from here if she knew I was here. I actually just came from talking to her and was stunned to hear that Rory Gilmore, golden girl with a plan, dropped out of Yale after committing a crime."

"Guess I am not so golden anymore. Did she blame Logan for it or Mitchum Huntzberger, because I am sure that they are at the top of her blame list right after me!"

By this time, both Rory and Jess were standing in the middle of the pool-house yelling at each other. Jess knew that yelling wasn't the key to solving this, but the girl obviously needed a kick in the ass and if yelling at her was going to do it, then by god he would.

"Actually, she blames herself," said Jess taking his tone a little softer, hoping that Rory would do the same.

"Good, she kicked me out and then kept me out of decisions in her life; none of this is my fault."

"God, Rory, listen to yourself. You sound like the kids you hated in high school. That woman sacrificed everything for you, so that you would have a better life then she did, and what are you doing in return, throwing your failures in her face, blaming her for YOUR mistakes."

"You don't understand, and like you are one to talk, you didn't even finish high school."

"You're right, I didn't. But I had to work for everything that I got after that. I worked my ass off to get my GED, to get my book published, and to make amends with people that I kicked to the side when I was angry and ran away. You had tough choices, and instead of working them out, you just gave up. At least I fought back and got back on my feet."

"You don't understand, and neither does she. None of you went to college; you don't understand the pressures of it. I had to drop classes, and my work wasn't excellent anyway. I was just wasting space there. You just don't waste space at Yale," said Rory, sitting on the couch, suddenly exhausted and trying to think of a way to get rid of Jess.

"Your wrong about that, I may not have gone to college, but I know your mother did. As I recall, you skipped her graduation to come and see me. Did you even apologize for that? Did the sacrifices she make even make a dent in your self-indulgent world? The woman could have done so many other things when she had you. She could have given you up for adoption, married your father and been unhappy all her life, stayed at this house and also been unhappy, or not have even had you; but instead she kept you, didn't make any decisions without thinking of the consequences that they would have on you, made sure you had the best that she could give you, even if it meant sacrificing a little bit of herself. Did you ever thank her for going to her parents to ask for money for Chilton, knowing what a sacrifice it was for her? Did you ever apologize for saying you hated her when you made the mistake of sleeping with Dean? Have you ever once done anything to thank her for how she raised you? You are ruining your own life, not her! You sit there and say that it is her fault, she kicked you out, she didn't tell you she was getting married, she didn't consult you about setting a date; but why should she Rory? All she does is give and all you do is take! Wake up and realize that you did this to yourself. You are miserable because you let one asshole tell you that you weren't good enough. If one person can change your whole outlook on your life plan, the plan I may add, that you have had since you were like four, then you aren't the person that Lorelai raised."

"How dare you stand there-" started Rory.

"I dare, because I care. I care that my uncle is happy, and by-proxy Lorelai. Right now, both of them are miserable because you are acting like a spoiled brat. Grow up Rory, and realize that these decisions that you made are your fault. Not Lorelai's for kicking you out, not that asshole for telling you that you don't have it, but you. You made the decision to quit Yale, you made the decision to steal a boat, you made the decision not to be a part of your mother's life. This is a mess of your making and it is nobody's fault but your own."

"Get out!" yelled Rory, shocked that he was talking to her like that.

"I will, but remember that nothing your mother did can compare to what you are doing to her!" yelled Jess as he stormed out the door.

Rory sat on her couch, stunned and in shock over the things that Jess just said to her. She shook her head, trying to clear it to no avail. The voice in her head was getting louder and louder, continuously saying "see it is your fault". She tried to muffle it down with her manta of "it's her fault, she kicked me out, it's her fault she kicked me out," but instead her inner Lorelai was getting increasingly louder with her accusations. Rory finally screamed at the top of her lungs and threw one of the throw pillows against the wall. The throw pillow landed on top of the gift Lorelai had sent almost a month ago for her birthday. With tears streaming unnoticed down her cheeks, Rory walked over to the gift picked it up and finally opened the card.

_My Darling Girl,_

_I know things aren't very good between us now, because we are too much alike Mini Me. Both of us are stubborn and unwilling to give in, but as the adult I will cave first. I miss you, so much, and would love you to come home, but right now you need to work out your choices in your life and I can't help you there. All our lives we worked for one goal, mine was slightly different than yours, but both were the same none the less. While you dreamed of being an international correspondent, I dreamed of you being happy and successful, having the life I tired to give you. When you told me you were quitting Yale, I saw all that slipping away. I don't want you to end up like your father, floating through this life, not knowing what you want, never being happy with what you get; I wanted you to hold onto your dreams. However, I think I have seen that tree before, so you know it all comes back to this same argument._

_Enough unpleasantness, onto the spoils. I know we have had a plan for your birthday since you were 4, but I think due to circumstances that will have to be put on hold. Instead, I am going to give you something I never thought I would give to you. While you were growing up, as you know, we didn't have much money, so I never was able to get a baby book to record all your amazing accomplishments. Instead I used this, a journal given to me when I turned 16, just after I found out I was pregnant with you. In it, I recorded much of our life together, things that you know, and things that you don't know. You are insisting that I don't understand how you feel, but baby, you also don't understand how I feel. So I am giving you this, in hopes that you read it and understand a little more why I so desperately didn't want you to give up on your dream._

_I do love you and never really could be disappointed in you. Use your time wisely and try and understand what I am giving you here. _

_Love always_

_Mom_

Rory opened the Hello Kitty wrapped package and immediately burst into tears. The guilt that she had been burying for months overwhelmed her, and as she sat on the floor and held her mother's journal to her breast, she finally got off the river of Denial and realized that it really was her fault.

**AN2: Well? Was it good? I am not sure what I can give you that is coming next, but I think it will be good. Review please! **


	8. Maybe I'm Wrong, Maybe I'm Right

**Disclaimer: I own pretty, pretty new clothes, but nothing that will make me money legally though.**

**Author Notes: Wow, I really was mean. I reread what I wrote and I even felt bad for Rory (something I never thought possible because I really don't like her that much). Oh well. I got a hit of inspiration though, so I may actually make this my longest story yet (which when you have only written two isn't that big of a feat). I hope to have this wrapped up in the next few chapters therefore I hope you enjoy this next chapter in the ongoing dramatic saga of Gilmore Girls MY WAY! (I really need to lay off the caffeine this late at night). **

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed and some personal shout-outs:**

**Luvs: _I hope you are enjoying the story so far, I was going to put in half naked Luke this chapter for you but think that I will wait till next chapter (if you get that far). Hope things are going better so we can chat more and you can talk me into watching the show after November when my Zen leaves…grrrr…ZEN I will be Zen. _**

**Roween: _I think they will make up next chapter. You will see the journal in this one and I hope you enjoy the entries. I almost cried rereading it._**

**Kckgirl: _I am glad that I can be a voice for all that want to smack Rory. I don't hate her; but I will say I strongly dislike her attitude much of the time. Most of the times she is okay, even cool, but seriously with the exception of like 4 episodes in season 5 I have just wanted to jump into the TV and smack her. But I digress and this has become a really long thank you. So thank you for reviewing and I hope my Rory makes amends nicely. She got her verbal ass-kicking and now she just has to heal. _**

**SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney: _I know I made Rory a huge bitch, but I think she is better this chapter. No more poor Rory, she realized her mistakes and is going to try and make up for them._**

**A. Windsor: _Thank you for reviewing my story. I love that people love my verbal ass-kicking, I was slightly inspired by Emily in We've Got Magic to Do, man that was great! Hope you enjoy the rest. PS I have read some of your stories and feel honored that you reviewed mine. I blushed. _**

**Ace:_ Good luck with your story. I enjoy writing mine and yeah reviews are lovely, but I don't run my life by them. If people think your story sucks, too bad for them, write because you like it and not because others do. _**

**Prof: _It is all the capitalizing man, I can't keep looking back to see if I did it right ;). Anyway, your praise made me blush and I swear next one of your chapter updates I will review. I was too irritated to write anymore this weekend and was busy searching for a new TV show to watch devotedly (not looking forward to sweeps) and then I saw your review and was like awwww, I gotta finish this chapter, people are getting anxious.. _**

**So yeah…thanks to everyone that reviewed my lovely verbal ass-kicking of Rory. I am sorry if I offended anyone, but it took a huge weight off my shoulders, it's like therapy! Enjoy this one, I promise Rory is nicer and no where near as bitchy. **

**Chapter 8: Maybe I'm Wrong, Maybe I'm Right**

Rory sat curled up in a ball on the floor, clutching the moleskin notebook to her chest, trying to catch her breathe and calm down. The guilt that she had been boxing up and hiding deep in her subconscious threatened now to drown her, but she struggled to stay above it. She slowly got off the floor and walked over to the sofa where she placed the journal on the table. Instead of sitting down she walked over to her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She walked back over to the sofa sat down at the opposite end of the journal, eyeing warily, as she opened her cell phone. She was about to speed-dial Logan, when she remembered that the Huntzbergers were at the Cape for the holidays. She sat there staring at the phone wishing she had someone to talk to. Rory finally decided just to call Logan and see if he picked up. She hit the speed-dial and listened to it ring 6 times before the voicemail picked up.

"This is Logan, I am currently pre-occupied or don't want to talk to you. If this is Finn, for the last time the answer is NO!"

"Logan, hey it's Rory. Umm, can you call me, as soon as possible? I really need to talk to someone."

With that message Rory, hung up with a sigh, trying not to burst into tears again. She moved over to the table and picked up the journal. She held it for a little, relishing a bit in the comfort that seemed the radiate from it. Rory gathered her courage and opened the book to the first page of the journal.

_April 22, 1984_

_Well, today I turned 16, and today I told my parents I was pregnant. So did not go well, not that I was expecting it to turn out well, but a girl can dream right. Emily was wrong though, my plans can still work out even though I'll have a kid. I can still go to Yale, no where on the application does it say 'if you have kids you can't come here'. I can still be a PR agent, or a lawyer, or a doctor, or whatever I want to be. This kid won't stop me from doing that. _

_May 15, 1984_

_My father hasn't spoken to me in almost 2 weeks now, ever since I said I wasn't going to marry Christopher. Why should my life have to end just because Chris used a shitty condom? My mother won't let me go back to school, not that I would want to go back to all those people talking about me like I am some sort of slut, but I don't want to be controlled like that. To them, this baby is a crime and I am in prison. _

_June 20, 1984_

_I felt the baby move today. At first I thought it was my stomach rumbling but it felt different, like someone had a loud bass and I was standing next to it. I called Christopher to tell him, but he said he didn't care. Don't worry baby, I'll take care you even if you father doesn't give a damn. Bastard._

_June 30, 1984_

_My father left for Europe today. He is going on a long-extended trip for business. I think he just had to leave because he can't stand to look at me now that I have "ruined the family name". Emily just keeps making me read all these GED books. Apparently even once I have the baby, I can't go back to school, I am too much of a rebel and the school doesn't want me there. Which is fine because I don't want to go there anyway, I mean, what kind of school kicks a girl out because they made a mistake. It's not like they kicked Christopher out. His parents won't even acknowledge the baby, and refuse to let him see me. Bastards all of them._

_July 21, 1984_

_Emily is driving me insane, baby. She keeps telling me I am going to be a lousy mother just because I won't marry Christopher. But what kind of life is that married at 16. This isn't 1874 Emily! People just don't get married at this age. You don't need your parents to be married baby do you?_

_August 11, 1984_

_I went for a walk today to get out of prison while Emily was at the DAR. Some car stopped and asked me what a kid like me was doing pregnant so young. She kept saying that it'll ruin my life and I should just have gotten rid of it. I told her to go to hell. You aren't going to ruin my life, baby. No matter what anyone tells you, I will still go to Yale, and still be whatever it is I want to be, like a fabulously successful PR agent for the Bangles. _

_September 29, 1984_

_Kid no offence, but it is time for you to vacate my body. How can something so small be make me so damn big? I can't fit into any of my cute clothes and Emily packed them all away, saying since I am a mother now, I don't need to wearing clothes like that. Dad came back today and could barely look at me. Apparently I am still a disappointment. At least they didn't send me off with the nuns. _

_October 28, 1984_

_Worst pain ever! Of course Christopher was no where to be found. My parents raged at me because I left without telling them. Excuse me for wanting my kid to be born without any blame in her first few hours. I still can't believe I named her Lorelai, those were some powerful drugs they had me on. I wanted her to have a hyphenated name so that she would know that Chris actually cares for her too, but he didn't think it was the best idea with his parents still being so angry at us. Whatever, Lorelai 2 and I will be just fine without them. I just have to get through college and we will be golden. Lorelai 2 doesn't sound good. Must think of nickname. _

_December 30, 1984_

_Rory is just 2 months and 2 days old today and she is already laughing and smiling. Christopher refuses to have anything to do with her. He says he is confused but I think he is just scared of being a dad. Rory, you don't need him. You have me and I swear I will do anything for you. _

_April 23, 1985_

_Rory is rolling over and gurgling. I swear she is much more advanced that any normal 6 month old baby. Emily is going to drive me insane though. I want Rory to be happy and play and I want to take care of her, not some damn nanny. I don't want her growing up like I did. She deserves better than that. I just need to make it through 4 more years. I have my GED, so I just need to make it through Yale. Four more years._

_August 19, 1985_

_I have a job. I moved out of prison and took Rory with me. Rory was absolutely perfectly behaved today on the bus. I just couldn't be in there anymore listening to how I was a disappointment and of course there would be no way I could get into Yale with a baby strapped to my hip. That's fine. I will get into Yale and I don't need them telling me what to do. I have watched maids all my life; I can so totally handle this. _

_October 25, 1985_

_It was snowing today, early since it is only October but you know what? RORY WALKED! SHE STARTED WALKING TODAY AND IT SNOWED! MY BABY WALKED FOR HER FIRST TIME IN THE SNOW. I always knew snow was magical. It was like she knew I was having a bad day and wanted to cheer me up. So she picked herself up and started walking along the floor of the room Mia made up for us. Of course it would snow when something that magical happened. We are going to be okay no matter how many old grown men make passes at me just because they think I am easy since I have a kid. We're going to be okay.  
_

_October 30, 1985_

_Rory has to be the smartest kid in the world, today she called me mama. Of course it had to be when I was cleaning rooms and some customer made a rude comment, but I don't care because my baby girl spoke! She called me mama. _

_November 29, 1985_

_Rory is jabbering all over the place. I called Mom and Dad today to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving. Dad wouldn't even talk to me and Mom just called me a disappointment again because I didn't want to come home. She did say that Rory sounded perfect when I put her on the phone to say Mama and Coffee. She actually laughed her little baby laugh to Mom. Maybe I will go home for Christmas, I mean things can't get much worse than this and I want Rory to have a family._

_December 25, 1985_

_My parents once again made me feel like I was less then dirt. They asked me what kind of life I could give Rory, since I can barely afford to feed her much less give her presents. They were begging me again to marry Christopher who apparently is hob-nobbing it up in Europe, not caring what happens to his child. I told my parents, that no matter what Rory did or didn't have she would know that I love her and am doing the best I can. They just said I was ruining her life. My life apparently doesn't matter anymore, but its okay, because when I went to go wake up Rory from her nap to go back home, she smiled and patted my cheeks. My daughter loves me, even if my parents don't. That's all I need, we'll be okay even if the only gift I could give her was a stuffed rooster. _

_April 22, 1986_

_I turned 18 today and the only present I got was my little girl walking up to me and saying "love mommy" which was the best present any mother could get. It doesn't matter that my application to Yale was rejected. It doesn't matter that my parents didn't call to wish me a happy birthday. My daughter loves me and that makes it all worth it. _

_October 28, 1986_

_Rory turned 2 today and she is chattering and running all over the place. I think she is a genius. I took her to my parents' house for dinner, since they asked to see her, and she was running everywhere. My mother of course made some comment about what she was wearing and thought that she would pass out when she heard that I made it. Her little hot pink dress is adorable, I don't care that she spilt grape juice all over it or that she tore it running up the stairs. When she saw it today, her eyes lit up, she clapped her hands and said "pretty mama!" My daughter is happy so we must be doing okay._

_December 25, 1986_

_I got Rory 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' for Christmas this year and she couldn't stop holding onto it. Of course, my parents commented on how it wasn't a respectable gift for a girl and that their tea set was much more appropriate. When I read it to her tonight before we went to sleep, she was so serious and silent, listening intently to every word. When it was over she said "again mama", so of course I read it again. My baby is going to be a reader, you wait and see. Christopher of course didn't show up like he said, but Rory doesn't know any better. I hope one day, he makes it here to see her before she gets too big. _

_March 3, 1987_

_Rory is talking and walking all over the place that it's hard to get her to stay in once place. She loves books and just wants me to read to her all the time. Mia made me head housekeeper, which is fantastic because I get a raise and can finally afford a car, so Rory and I celebrated by going to the library where she spent hours in the kid section just looking and looking at all the books. We spent the rest of the day picking up stuff we needed to fix up our new home, the potting shed in the back of the inn. If my parents saw it they would freak out and take Rory away, but it is safe, dry, and warm, just because it isn't a mansion in the richest part of Hartford doesn't mean it can't be a home. Christopher hasn't sent any money either like he said so this new position is perfectly timed, it is getting really hard to keep Rory and myself in clothes and food with just the maid's wage. Thank God for Mia though. That woman has saved our life. I hope Rory never has to know the things we have had to go through making ends meet. I hope her life is much happier than mine was before I got her. _

_September 17, 1987_

_Some guest accused me of stealing today. Apparently his wife lost a bracelet and since I am a 'teenage mother', 'white trash', and 'no better than a whore' since I have a child, I obviously stole the bracelet. There was this big hullabaloo until Mia found the bracelet in their bathroom drain. The jerk didn't even have the nerve to apologize just stormed off with his wife, saying he didn't expect anything from a bunch of white trash hicks. Thank God Rory wasn't around to hear it; she was off with Sookie in the kitchen when the shit was hitting the fan. I never want anyone telling her she is less than what she is; a beautiful, smart, happy little girl. Curse anyone that tries to take that away from her. _

Rory paused in her reading, trying desperately to remember that day. She was barely 3 when it happened, but no matter how hard she thought, all her memories of the Independence Inn were happy, nobody ever made her feel less than she was or that she ruined her mother's life. Rory skimmed through the next few years in the journal, amazed at all the things her mother had to deal with, rude guests calling her names, barely any money to get anything fun, her parents continuously degrading her life and her choices, and the fact that her father would say at least once a year that he would come and visit, but he never showed. Rory never knew all the promises Christopher made to Lorelai about helping and sending money and the old anger she felt toward her father flared up. Rory paused when she came across the entry for her first day in kindergarten.

_September 3, 1989_

_Rory started kindergarten today. The kid is going to blow them away in school; she is already reading and can write Mama, Rory, and Coffee. I took her in and she wasn't even scared, just excited to be around all these other kids. See my mother was wrong; Rory is a perfectly happy child that didn't need to have play dates with all those snobby rich kids that would only talk badly about her. She is just as happy being with me and making new friends. It looks like my baby is growing up. _

The entry was tearstained and obviously read a lot. Rory remembers being really excited and kind of scared about going to school. Her mom had said that there were lots of kids and books for her to read there and that it would be okay that she wasn't there because she would be learning all sorts of things and making all kinds of new best friends. When Lorelai picked her up, Rory was chattering about all the friends she made and all the books there were and how she just had to have a box of 64 crayons like everyone else so that she could draw pictures with other colors, not just the standard 10. Suddenly, Rory understood her mother's expression a little more. She remembers the slight panicked look in her eyes and the sadness that flew into her eyes and just as quickly flew out as she hugged Rory and said that she was glad she was making friends. A week later, Rory found a box of 64 crayons on the table in their little shed home. She was so excited she forgot all about thanking her mom and just ran out the door heading to the school, with Lorelai running behind her. The knowledge that they didn't have much money back then made Rory think what her mother had to give up to get her such a luxury like a box of 64 crayons.

With tears streaming down her face, Rory continued to read the journal, noticing that as she got older and money was getting to be less of an issue, the entries were getting less and less frequent. Her first bike ride, ballet recital, walk in the snow, her first date with Dean were all in there, with slight mentions of things in Lorelai's life. Dates with men that bailed the second she mentioned she had a kid, the struggle to keep her parents in her life and not letting what they said about her and her choices get to Rory, her first meeting with Luke, which had Rory smiling, and continuous absence of Christopher. She could hear the joy in her mother's voice when they finally moved out of the shed and into their house, her excitement at finally being made manager and graduating from college, her happiness at how smart Rory was and how she was going to make sure the dream that she had of becoming an international correspondent happened. Rory could feel the sadness Lorelai felt as Christopher failed to show up again and again, though as time went on the sadness became regret that Rory wasn't getting a father figure that she needed, Rory could sense the elation as Lorelai wrote how Rory was accepted to Chilton and then Yale, she now knew the anxiousness and anger that Lorelai felt having to go to her parents to get money to help make Rory's dreams come true. The overall theme in the journal however was Lorelai's determination that Rory have the happy childhood that Lorelai never got, that Rory would never have to make the sacrifices that Lorelai had to make in her life. The last entry in the journal was one that caused Rory to sob uncontrollably again.

_May 19, 2004_

_Today is an important day in Rory's life. She slept with Dean, her first time. I know it is hypocritical for me to think that Rory would have waited till marriage or at least with someone serious considering how she came about, but I just wanted it to be different. My baby said she hated me today, because I told her what she did was wrong. I always thought that all the choices I made in the years; not marrying Christopher, not staying in Hartford, not marrying Max when I didn't love him, refusing to get involved with guys that didn't want kids, making sure Rory always had the childhood I wanted, always putting her needs first, would somehow give me immunity when it came time for daughters to hate their mothers. I guess I was wrong, my baby hates me and I never thought she would._

As Rory read this last entry, Jess' words came back to her with an understanding and clarity she didn't have before. _Did the sacrifices she made even make a dent in your self-indulgent world? Did you ever thank her for going to her parents to ask for money for Chilton, knowing what a sacrifice it was for her? Did you ever apologize for saying you hated her when you made the mistake of sleeping with Dean? Have you ever once done anything to thank her for how she raised you? _All those questions he rattled off at her in his rant all could be answered with a rousing no. With the exception of her valedictorian speech, she never once thanked her mother. Jess' accusing words replayed in her head over and over until she fell into a restless, deep sleep, her mother's journal still held tight in her arms, with the knowledge that she hurt her mother more than anyone else had and how she had no idea how to fix it.

**AN2: Well? Was it good?**


	9. I Just Think If We Build on This Trust

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of media proportions.**

**Author Notes: First, thank you to everyone that reviewed. I know I haven't updated very quickly but had a bit of writer's block, but it's gone now. A few things, I have had a lot of questions about whether this is Rory/Jess or a Rory/Logan. Honestly, I don't care that much about whom she ends up with, I don't think she will get back with Jess and I think Logan is just her way of having an adventure and trying new things. The only people I really care about ending up together on the show are (here is thing number 2) are Lorelai and Luke.**

**I know many, many fans (basically all of us) are in tears of anger and sadness about the coming episodes and the certain characters that are coming into it (stop reading if you wish to remain spoiler free). I HAVE FAITH! (I am serious about stop reading if you don't like spoilers) Ask Ausiello last week (Oct 26th issue READ IT) gave me faith (I knew there was a reason that I liked him) and he is as big of a Gilmore Girls fan as any one of us. He was asked if Luke and Lorelai would end up together and gave a resounding Yes. Whether this is from ASP mouth or just him being him I am holding fast to it as my hope. Also he mentioned that we don't know for sure that she is actually blood-related to Luke. I have faith in what ASP is doing; I know that it will be okay. Have faith people. It's a good train, you should get on it. Rant over. (Read this week's AA too if you liked the Oct 26th one). **

**That feels wonderful to get off my chest. Apparently you people like my stuff, so here is a little chapter to tide you over while I work my magic on the wedding chapter which will end this ride. Let me know your thoughts on everything from the chapter to the show to my long rant above.**

**_Luvz where are you? Are you okay? Miss you and need your zen for when things get bad. _**

**Chapter 9: I Just Think If We Build on This Trust**

_Evening of December 14th_

"I'm getting married in the morning. Ding dong the bells are going to chime," sang Lorelai as she walked down the stairs.

"Lorelai, add singing to the list of things that scare Paul Anka," called Luke from the kitchen.

"Hey, buddy unless you want to be kicked out before midnight I would lay off the sarcasm," said Lorelai walking into the kitchen with a grin on her face. "Besides it's not my fault the song is in my head, you're the one that wanted to watch a movie."

"Yeah A movie, not a three-day marathon of movies that have weddings in them," replied Luke grumpily as he pulled Lorelai to him.

"But it was appropriate!" cried Lorelai, her face buried in Luke's T-shirt clad chest. "We're getting married tomorrow," she whispered softly.

"Yes, we are," replied Luke, just as quietly pulling Lorelai even closer to him, brushing a kiss in her hair.

They stood in that position for several minutes before Luke felt a familiar wet sensation on his chest. He pulled away and noticed tears streaming down Lorelai's face.

"Hey, you know we don't have to do this tomorrow right? We can wait till Rory is back to normal," Luke said tilting Lorelai's face up to his wiping the tears from her face.

Lorelai looked up at the understanding and loving face of the man that she knew she couldn't live without. A wave a love washed over her and she smiled like she used to smile before yachts, Christopher, and her parents entered the picture. "No, we are getting married tomorrow. If Rory wants to be there, I can guarantee that there will be much jumping and yelling, but if she isn't we still are getting married, with a smidge less jumping and yelling. That is what I want, no more waiting."

Luke looked down at Lorelai, wondering again how he managed to get lucky enough that Lorelai actually loved him, much less spend the rest of her life with him. He kissed the top of her head again and whispered, "She may still come. You are positive she wrote the note, so she is at least making an effort."

Lorelai nodded against him, remembering the note that had arrived about a week ago. It was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Danes with no return address or postal markings on it. Lorelai was so excited to get her first piece of mail with her new name that she refused to cut the envelope open, but steamed it open so that she could frame it and put it on the mantel, she had explained to a confused Luke, who had walked into the kitchen to Lorelai holding an envelope over the teapot. When she finally got it open after burning her hand twice, all that was inside was a piece of paper with three lines on it.

_I told you it was written in the stars. I am so happy for you. Congratulations. _

It wasn't signed, but Lorelai could tell from the handwriting and the written in the stars reference that it was from Rory. She had made the same reference when Lorelai told her about the horoscope and the amazing first date with Luke. Rory just laughed and said she always knew that they were meant to be together, first the twin dream and now this horoscope he saved. She had said that she wanted to wear blue to their wedding. Lorelai turned her head and stared at the closed door to Rory's room. She felt Luke pull her closer and knew that he too was sad that Rory didn't want to be there for the wedding. She looked up at Luke and gave him a long heated kiss before pulling away.

"Go finish up my burger Coffee Man; I want to finish watching Sound of Music."

"Lorelai-" started Luke.

"Luke, it's not alright, but it's going to be okay," said Lorelai, kissing him again. "I can't force her to be there, my parents can't force her to be there, it is up to her to want to be there. I don't want her there if she forced, it would just make the whole event sad, and I don't know about you but I am way to excited to marry you for it to be marred with sadness and tension. She needs to want to be there so that she can share the second most important thing to happen to me other that her birth. Otherwise it just isn't worth the effort. Now hurry up and get me food before I am forced to eat something healthy or start singing again."

Luke just kissed her and pushed her towards the living room, before turning to the stove to finish her food. Luke knew that Lorelai was right, Rory needed to want to be there, not because she was forced. He just hoped that she wanted to be there for all their sakes.

_

* * *

New York City: Day of December 14th _

Logan sat in the theater watching Rory watch The Producers. He could tell that Rory really wasn't watching the play; that Rory really wasn't acting like Rory. He knew something was up ever since he called her 2 weeks ago and she said 'let's go to New York, spend a couple weeks there to celebrate me being done with community service'. Logan, didn't know what to say, but accepted the offer and made reservations to stay at the Plaza. Rory hasn't really talked to him, even though he asked what she needed help with many times. Logan knew that her mother's wedding was tomorrow, but had no idea how to broach the topic to Rory. He turned his attention back to the play, determined this time to find out what was up with Rory and why she kept running away.

After the play, Rory and Logan walked around Manhattan for a couple hours, shopping and seeing the sights of winter in New York. Rory came to sudden halt when they walked in past some old used record store. She just stared into it, like she had seen a ghost and totally ignored Logan repeated calling of her name.

"RORY!"

"Did I ever tell you how I skipped school once and came to New York to see a boy who wasn't even my boyfriend at the time?"

"No, Rory what's wrong?"

"Jess had just left because everyone, including my mother, blamed him for my broken arm that I got when we got into a car accident. I missed him and went to New York to see him. It was the same day as my mother's college graduation. I didn't even care; I just wanted to see Jess. I missed the graduation because the bus I took back took forever. When I got home, I had completely missed the ceremony, my mother walking across the aisle, getting to do something that took her 16 extra years to do because she choose to have me and make sure I had the best things in life. I could see it in her face, how badly I hurt her, but there was a small part of me that didn't care; I did what I wanted and saw Jess and for that small part of me doing that was the most important thing. My mother was devastated that I missed her big moment and she didn't even yell at me, she just accepted it!" cried Rory, breaking down into loud sobs.

Logan tried to calm her down, but Rory was fast becoming hysterical. He flagged down a cab and pushed Rory into it, crawled in after her, and then just held her as the driver sped them to the Plaza. Logan half-walked, half-carried Rory to their suite sat her down on the couch and just held her.

"Rory, what is going on?"

"Everything is falling apart. I was so sure I was right about taking a break from Yale, ignoring my mother, everything! But I was wrong, everything is wrong. She gave up everything for me and every big moment she has had since she had me I have ruined for her. Her graduation, when she opened the inn, her engagement, everything! Jess was right; I am acting like a spoiled brat who throws a tantrum because I don't get what I want. I couldn't handle my mother telling me I was wrong, putting doubts in my head about the choices I made so I ran to my grandparents. Then I read her journal and see all the things she had to sacrifice for me to have the life I did; school, dreams, clothes, self-esteem and I what did I do Logan? I told her I hated her and wanted nothing to do with her. I couldn't even call her to tell her congratulations on her wedding and how happy I am for them; I just ran away and left a note. It's all messed up and I don't know how to fix it," said Rory, breaking down into sobs again.

"Rory, I know you well enough to know that you can fix this. The wedding is tomorrow, why don't we just go."

"She won't want me there."

"I think she does Rory, the real question is do YOU want to be there for HER? I am going to go downstairs and get some food, why don't you think about this, really think, don't just block it out," said Logan with a kiss to her forehead.

**AN2: UHOH I left a cliff-hanger. I will try and update next week, but things are busy. **


	10. Always Seem to Hold On

**Disclaimer: Own nothing what so ever.**

**Author Notes: This is the second to last chapter. I was going to have the wedding in this one, but it got too long. Chapter 11 will be up tomorrow or later today. Hope everyone enjoys Rory's wake-up call. Thanks to everyone that reviewed.**

**Chapter 10: Always Seem to Hold On**

Rory sat on the couch staring blankly into space never in her life feeling as lost as she did now. Nobody wanted to be around her, nobody could talk to her and she had no idea what to do. She decided to go for a walk, thinking that maybe that would make things fall into perspective. Rory didn't want to go crawling home to her mother, as much as she wanted to, she knew she needed to figure things out on her own and could not just go and have her mother figure it all out. That was probably the main reason she didn't want to talk to her mother, Rory knew everything that she was feeling would fly out of her mouth and then her mother would know that Rory was afraid that she couldn't do anything. She was feeling overwhelmed with the world and just wanted to go back to being 16 where the hardest thing she had to do was learn to drive a car. Rory shook her head to clear it and grabbed the Birken bag on the table, left a note for Logan saying she went for a walk, and walked out the door.

She walked around Manhattan heading for a small little coffee shop near Times Square that was exactly what she needed now; small, quiet, and people wouldn't talk to her. She walked in the door and the smell of coffee and sounds of quiet conversation flooded her with nostalgia. She ordered a large coffee and a scone and went to sit in the corner of the shop near the fire place and a bookcase of books. She reached into the Birken bag, pulled out her old beat up copy of Anna Karenina, and noticed the letters that she had stuffed in the bag right before she and Logan left for New York. Rory put the book back in the huge, pink bag once again wondering why Logan would give her something like this, and pulled the unopened letters out instead. The most recent one was from Luke, arriving about 2 days before she left for New York, and the second letter had arrived a few days after Thanksgiving and was from Jess. Rory wasn't sure what was in either letter and held them in her hands for a few minutes before working up the nerve to read Jess' letter first.

_Rory, _

_I wanted to apologize for the way I talked to you the other day, but I am not going to apologize for the things I said. I don't know why you gave up your dreams and why you are so determined to become something you aren't. I want you to be happy and don't see you being happy as a rich, stay at home wife who does nothing but listen to her husband talk about his job and plans while the wife just goes to meetings. It may be something your grandmother loves to do, but you are not like her. I hope you find your dreams again and remember that you never before let people talk you out of them. _

_Jess_

Rory folded the letter and put it back in the envelope remembering the hard and truthful words Jess shouted at her. He was right; she never gave up on her dreams before and refused to let anyone tell her she wasn't good enough. Rory thought back to when she started Chilton and was so far behind. The teachers and the headmaster all told her that she could quit and go back to Stars Hollow High, even her mother said that if she wanted to she could go back and she wouldn't care. Rory remembered the conversation that they had while looking for the deer that hit her. Her mother asked then if the dream of Harvard was actually her dream or something that she felt Lorelai had pressured her to do. Rory remembered feeling bad that her mother thought that her problems in school were her fault and had mentally resolved then and there never to let people tell her she couldn't do anything.

'How did I forget that?' Rory thought to herself before opening Luke's letter.

_Dear Rory,_

_I heard you finished your community service. Congratulations! I hope it went easily and quickly for you and didn't cause you too many problems. I knew you would be able to get down before the time they set, you always went above any expectation anyone ever set for you. _

_I don't know if you have been reading your mother's letters or even if you would read this, but your mother and I are getting married in two weeks on December 15th (which if you read the letters you would know but if not then this is something else I told you that I shouldn't have which will make your mother mad at me and then she'll pout and I'll cave and give her three extra cups of coffee). Anyway Rory, we really want you to be there. It wouldn't be the same if you weren't here to jump around with your mother, to talk her into wearing normal shoes and not the Hello! Kitty ones she thinks she can get away with wearing, and to dance around to crazy music that Lorelai will insist on playing and then singing along to and then mock me because I don't know the names of any band that she knows. Something would be missing from this day and I don't know if your mother and I will actually be able to get married without you there; we both want our daughter there for this moment. _

_I really hope you just didn't get freaked out by me calling you my daughter, but that's how I feel. I have seen you through your many accomplishments in your life; caterpillar funerals, birthdays, graduations and would do anything for you. So even though biologically you aren't mine, in my heart you are my daughter (that sound you just heard was your mother going "Awww Lukey you are such a softy", so can you please not share this letter with her, I do have an image after all)._

_I was walking by the Red, White, and Black Theater and saw that they were playing _Pippi Longstockings_ and remembered that night of the double date when you mother and I had just started dating. That was a really bad night and it was mostly my fault. I explained to your mother why I acted like I did, but I never explained it to you, so I'll attempt to do that now. _

_Kid, you are like Pippi. Not the crazy hair or the weird strength, but the spirit. You have the same amazing spirit that your mother has that drove her to live her life on her own terms and not let anyone get her down. It's that amazing light of life in her that first drew me to her and you have the same thing. You have the ability to do great things for this world, whether it is writing, teaching, reporting, whatever you want to do you can do it. You have the ability, kid, to take this world over and change it for the better. You can do so much more than living in Stars Hollow or Hartford, planning events for the DNR or whatever it is called that your mother makes fun of all the time. So if I may give you some fatherly advice that my dad once told me when I thought the world was coming down around me; "Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do". _

_Don't hold on to what one person told you, Rory; learn from it, make yourself better for it, and then let go of it. Live your life like Pippi and keep your dreams no matter what people say. Nobody knows it all (no matter what Lorelai says about Miss Cleo) and nobody can tell you what your life should be, only you can makes those choices. Don't just give up your dreams kid, nothing good ever comes from that. _

_I hope to see you at the wedding, December 15th, 2 pm in the town square. I'll be the one in the suit and your mother will be the one in the dress. _

_Love,_

_Luke_

Rory looked up after reading Luke's letter, wiping tears off her stunned, shocked face. She was touched that Luke thought of her as his daughter, considering she loved him like a father. Rory didn't know what to make of the rest of the letter though. Mitchum Huntzberger was the man in publishing; he would know if she had what it takes.

'But he couldn't possibly have an ulterior motive. It's not like you were the first girl his wild son brought home and a girl that was known to want a career when careers for women are frowned upon in that vapid world,' said the mental voice in her head that sounded like Lorelai.

'He gave me that internship to apologize,' retorted Rory.

'So he said.'

'Why would he say I didn't have it, if I actually did?' asked Rory, still unable to understand that someone could be that cruel.

'What if you do have it?'

'What if I don't!'

'How would you know if you don't even try!'

Instantly the arguing voices in her head silenced as clarity hit Rory. She suddenly understood what everyone had been telling her. It didn't matter if she did or didn't have it, what mattered was that she tried to make her dream come true and instead of trying, she gave up and ran away. Rory gathered her things and left the coffee shop on a run. She had a lot of things to make right. She found her dream again and this time she was going to try and make it come true.

_Evening of December 14th_

Logan was passing back and forth around the suite waiting for Rory to come back. He hasn't heard from her since he left her to think earlier in the afternoon and he was starting to get worried. He picked up his cell to try and call her again when she threw open the door and blew through the door, weighted down with shopping bags. He looked up at her and was shocked to see that she looked like herself again. The old, spirited, happy Rory was back and he had no idea what happened.

Rory walked into the hotel room and was instantly engulfed in a tight hug from Logan.

"Where have you been? I was getting really worried that you ran off or got hurt or something."

Rory smiled, glad that Logan cared that much about her, she sometimes wondered about his feelings for her. "I'm fine. I finally sorted myself out, and then had to get some things for tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow? Wait, you sorted yourself out?"

"Yes, I realized what everyone was telling me all along. It was stupid to just give up school and journalism just because your father said I didn't have it. They aren't his dreams, they are mine and I should be the one to decide if I don't have it, not some mean, cruel man, no offense."

"You forgot inconsiderate bastard," deadpanned Logan, kissing her on the forehead, while walking her to the couch.

"Well, umm, yeah. I still need to figure out my future, but I am not going to let others dictate to me what I should or can do."

"And tomorrow?"

"Which brings me to the bags. I told my mother a long time ago, when she first started dating Luke, that I would wear blue to the wedding. We had talked long and very descriptively about the dresses we would wear when they got married, which in itself is amazing because Lorelai Gilmore usually ran in the face of commitment, however with Luke it was always different, but I digress. The dress she would wear would be strapless and simple, with only some fancy embroidery as the decoration. Since I wanted to wear blue, it was going to be a simple spaghetti strap dress that my mom was going to make out of some shimmering satin that she had found years ago, but had wanted to save for a special occasion. Because New York is New York, I managed to find a dress that is pretty much exactly what we had planned," said Rory as she pulled a long dark blue dress out of one of her bags.

"Beautiful, just like you."

"Thanks, but hold that thought until you see what I got you."

"I can't pull off a dress like that, my hips are too big."

"Nope, not a dress, a tie."

"A tie?"

"Not just any tie," replied Rory reaching into another bag. "But a blue plaid flannel tie! I got one for Luke and his best man too."

"A blue, plaid flannel tie. And why should I wear this?" asked Logan in disbelief.

"Because not only will it match my dress, but will go perfect with the blue, plaid flannel stockings that I found for my mother," said Rory, waving around the stockings.

"Your mother is going to want to wear those?"

"If I know my mother, and I am pretty sure I do, she will love the fact that I brought her plaid flannel on the day she is marrying the Flannel Man," replied Rory with a smile.

"Plaid flannel tie it is then. I'll call my father and see if he can get us his company jet to fly to Hartford."

"Actually Logan, I took care of that too. I am done trying to live in world that I don't really belong. No more jets, DAR, tea parties, or trips on a whim. I want go back and appreciate the things I had to work for to get. In that vein, I got us train tickets. It leaves at 8 am, which gives us a few hours lee-way once we get to Stars Hollow."

"Well, let's go to bed. I have always wanted to ride a train," said Logan with a smile and a kiss for Rory.

"Thank you," Rory said softly.

"No problem, just glad to see you back to normal."

**AN2: I had this written before last Tuesday's episode so my Logan is a bit OOC, but hey look for a rant next chapter involving Rory and Logan.**


	11. Baby We Can Make This Last A Lifetime

**Disclaimer: I do not hold the rights to anything cool.**

**Author Notes: I am going to keep this short. Thank you to everyone that reviewed. You made me wanna write the story, so go reviewers. This is the end. Maybe one day I will get inspired to write a sequel, but my story ideas come few and far between. I hope everyone enjoys this last installment. **

**Luvs: Its the end! I want my big huge review!**

**Chapter 11: Baby We Can Make This Last A Lifetime**

_11 am December 15th _

Lorelai sat in her newly remodeled bedroom waiting patiently for her curling iron to heat. She had made Sookie and her mother leave about an hour ago, wanting some time to herself to get ready. Sookie flipped out thinking that Lorelai was planning to run away and leave Luke at the alter ala Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride. Finally, after giving Sookie her IDs, credit cards, and keys to the jeep and telling her that without money, identification, and transportation she wouldn't be able to go anywhere. Emily, knowing the reason for Lorelai's melancholy, dragged Sookie out the door telling Lorelai that they would be back about 1:30 to make sure that she was ready.

Lorelai looked in her mirror and smiled slightly at the face looking back at her. Her eyes in the reflection sparkled with anticipation and excitement at finally become Mrs. Backwards Baseball Cap or formally known as Mrs. Luke Danes. Deep within her eyes, however, Lorelai could see sadness. She was happy, she wanted to get married today, but yet she was disappointed that Rory didn't show up. She was supposed to be there in her shimmery, blue dress helping Lorelai get ready and singing silly songs to calm her mother down. Lorelai smiled while picking up her curling iron as she caught sight of her dress in the mirror. She was right yesterday; it's not alright, but it most defiantly will be okay.

She was about to start curling her hair when the phone rang for the third time since Sookie left. She put the curling iron down with a sigh and picked up the phone.

"No Sookie, I have not run away. I am still here trying to fix my hair. I have no plans to hop on a UPS truck or change my identity and move to Nova Scotia. Can I finish getting ready now?"

"Glad to hear that you aren't leaving, especially via UPS truck. Those brown uniforms do nothing for you."

"LUKE! Don't tell me you are concerned about me bailing? You know I am going to be there right?" asked Lorelai, brightening at the sound of Luke's voice over the phone, but concerned that he may doubt that she actually will be there.

"Oh I know you are going to be there, after all how else will you get coffee," responded Luke, grinning into the phone.

"As superior as it is, I am not marrying you solely for the coffee. A girl has to eat too," said Lorelai with a laugh.

"Well, we can't have you starve now, can we?"

Lorelai smiled, but stayed silent on the phone, staring at a picture of her and Rory.

"Lorelai?"

"I wish she was here Luke. I thought that she was going to come, I just hoped that she would want to be here," said Lorelai holding back her tears.

"Hey, you know we don't have to do this today right? We can wait till things are good between you two again. I am sure this won't last much longer," responded Luke, wishing he could be there to hold her.

"No, I want to get married today. I love you and want to be with you whether Rory is here or not," Lorelai said looking out her window. "HEY!"

"What? What happened?" said Luke, startled by the sudden excitement in the voice over the phone.

"IT'S SNOWING! I knew it would snow today, I just knew it. You know that the-"

"Best things always happen in the snow," said Rory quietly, smiling at the sight of her mom so happy.

"Rory?" said Lorelai in disbelief, still holding the phone, while turning towards the door.

"Rory? Lorelai, what is going on! LORELAI!" yelled Luke into the phone, wondering if he should buck tradition and run over there.

"Mom, talk to Luke, I'll still be here," Rory said walking over to her mom and putting the phone to Lorelai's ear.

"Luke-I-Rory-snow," Lorelai whispered into the phone, before breaking down into sobs.

"Lorelai! Do you want me to come? Lorelai," responded Luke to the incomplete ramblings that Lorelai sputtered into the phone.

Rory ran over to her mom and took the phone from her. "Luke?"

"Rory!"

"I came back. I know I was wrong and I have a lot to tell the two of you, but right now you both need to get ready for ceremony. I sent Logan over with my contribution to the ceremony and you and all your merry men need to wear one. I'll take care of mom and we both will see you in a few hours okay?" said Rory, while giving her crying mother a hug.

"It better not be tights. Hey Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"I am glad you came," Luke said in the phone.

"Hey, it's not everyday a girl gets to see her parents get married. I wouldn't miss this for the world. And Luke, thanks for the advice, it really helped," replied Rory, her eyes tearing up slightly.

"Love you kid. Tell your mom that I'll see her in a few hours," said Luke, holding back tears himself.

"Love you too. Now go get ready, or you'll be late," said Rory before hanging up the phone.

Rory tossed the phone on the bed and turned to her mom, who was still standing near the window, tears streaming down her face.

"Rory?"

"Mom, I am so sorry. I was so wrong and I don't hate you, I was just ashamed and confused and wanted to figure everything out myself. I thought you would be disappointed that I didn't know what to do, that I was confused, because I am Rory, I always have answers. I figure everything out with lists and what I find in books and this time I didn't do that. I disappointed myself and I couldn't deal with it so I ran because I couldn't deal with being wrong. Luke told me not to give up my dreams, Jess told me I was acting like a brat, even you told me not to give up, and I ignored everyone. I just don't know what to do," said Rory before breaking down into tears.

"Hey, it's alright. I know you were confused, I just didn't understand why you gave everything up. I was wrong too, I should have listened to you and tried to help you figure stuff out," said Lorelai, pulling her sobbing, prodigal daughter into her arms, her own tears flowing down her face. "As I have said before we are too much alike, both of us blaming ourselves when no one really was to blame."

"But it is my fault Mom, I just gave up."

"Rory, your grandfather told me something not to long ago and it made me realize that you can't change the past, you just have to live in each moment as it comes."

"What did he say?"

"Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

"What does that mean?"

"Like I said, stop thinking about what happened with that Huntzberger jackass, stop thinking about whether or not people are disappointed in you. What do you want to do with your life right now? Without thinking about the dreams you have or had or what happened two hours ago? What do you want Rory?"

"I think, no I know. I want to go back to school," replied Rory hesitantly.

"Then go back, study what you want to study whether it is English, Journalism, Biology, or Yoga, but don't stop yourself from doing what you want to do just because one person says you can't do it. Don't let your dreams be worth so little that they can be pushed away because someone says you can't do it. Prove them wrong, baby. Life isn't easy, but nothing worth getting ever was," said Lorelai quietly, holding her still sobbing daughter close to her. "Now, if you don't mind, I have a wedding to get ready for and I would love it if you would help a girl out because frankly I don't know what to do with my hair."

"Mom! You're getting married!" yelled Rory jumping up from her seat on Lorelai's bed.

"I'm getting married!" squealed Lorelai, as she and Rory jumped around her room.

"I'm getting married!" Lorelai glanced at her clock. "AHHHHHHHH!"

"What?" exclaimed Rory, frightened by her mother's sudden scream.

"I'm getting married in less than 2 hours and I am not close to being ready!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE! Okay, what needs to be done?"

"Well got my dress on, so that is a start, but I need to get my hair done. Curls up or down?"

"Down, that way we can put flowers in it and it would look simple, but elegant," replied Rory, sitting her mother down at the vanity and picking up the curling iron.

1:00 pm

"So my hair is done, your hair is done. My dress is on, your dress is on; good pick on the dress by the way. Shoes are waiting patiently to be put on, are you sure I can't wear my Hello! Kitty slippers?"

"No slippers mom, those shimmery faux Manolo Blahniks go perfect with your dress. Besides they are your something borrowed right? Because I know you stole them from me at least a year ago"

"Oh no! I don't have my somethings!" Lorelai said, panicking slightly.

"Breathe mom. Your dress is new. You're wearing my stolen shoes so those are borrowed since I am taking them back after today. You are wearing the earrings that Luke gave you a long time ago those are your old. They don't make sixpences anymore, so that part is antiquated."

"What about blue? I knew I should have bought some blue underwear. I had to go and get the pretty black ones just to be a rebel."

"Well, I bought something that I thought you would like, kind of an apology gift and my way of helping plan the wedding," said Rory softly pulling out the bag she left by the door.

"Ooohh, what did you get me?"

"Well, I remembered you always calling Luke Flannel Man; so I managed to find some blue plaid flannel stockings in New York. I got a pair for you so they could be your something blue. There a few extra pairs, I am sure you want your maid of honor and bridesmaids to wear them."

Lorelai took the stockings from Rory, tears once again coming to her eyes. Only her daughter knew her well enough to know that flannel stockings would be perfect today. "Will the stockings fit you?" she asked softly.

"What?"

"I don't have a Maid of Honor. I was hoping you would come so I never picked one."

"But what about Sookie? And Luke? He won't have enough-" started Rory.

"Baby, it's okay. We worked it out. Jess and Jackson are standing up for Luke and you and Sookie are standing up for me."

"How did you know I was going to come? We weren't talking or-" asked Rory before breaking down into tears again.

"I had hope. Sometimes it's all you have, but nonetheless I hoped that you would come."

"But my dress?"

"I knew O-Daughter-of-Mine, that when you came it would be in the dress that we talked about after that first date with Luke. Sookie's is the same."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I'm just-"

"Rory, it takes too much time and energy holding on to everything that has happened. We both have too much to look forward to. Let's just forget the bad, keep the good, and be happy," said Lorelai pulling her sobbing daughter to her again.

"I need to tell you something Mom."

"And what is that?"

"Thank you for the journal and how you raised me. You did good and everything good that I have or am is because of you. I wanted to tell you that."

"Oh baby, it was my pleasure. You made me happy when I didn't think I could be. That was all the thanks I needed."

"Logan is dropping off some blue plaid flannel ties with Luke. Now you guys will match," said Rory, trying to lighten the mood, but still clinging to her mother.

"I'm sure Jess will be thrilled to wear a blue, plaid flannel tie. Logan's here, huh?"

"Mom, he was as angry at me for quitting Yale as the rest of you. He also was positive his father said those things just to make me quit. He is a good guy," said Rory, not wanting to fight with her Mom again.

"Well I would like to actually meet him, and not just hear him talk to my parents, but actually get to know him," said Lorelai, wanting to make amends with Rory on all fronts.

"You will, I promise."

"Now, let's get ourselves together, because I am getting married in like half an hour and your grandmother should be here any-"

"Lorelai!" echoed Emily's voice up the stairs.

"-minute," finished Lorelai.

"Lorelai! It's nearly 1:30. Please tell me you are ready. Sookie is already at the gazebo making sure everything is set," yelled Emily as she walked up the stairs to Lorelai's room. The scene she came upon was not what she was expecting. Rather than Lorelai by herself trying to finish up, she was with Rory, but had on some ridiculous stockings. The stockings weren't what shocked her into silence. It was the fact that her daughter and grand-daughter seemed to be actually getting along.

"Rory?"

"That's my name," Rory said, smiling at her grandmother.

"What-why-you came?" stuttered Emily.

"Of course I came Grandma. I know I was confused and messed up before, but I worked everything out. I'm okay now, I'm going back to Yale where I belong," she said before going to hug her grandmother.

"I hate to break this up, but I really want to get to the church on time, so can we get this show on the road," interrupted a radiant Lorelai.

"Lorelai, yes, of course. The car is downstairs. You do look lovely," said Emily wiping tears from her eyes and reaching toward her daughter and giving her a hug.

'Ok boys and girls. Copper Boom! Move out!" yelled Rory, already moving toward the stairs.

_

* * *

2 P.M. The Gazebo_

Rory walked down the aisle, smiling at Logan and her grandmother. She nodded at Jess and smiled at him, hoping that he would get the silent thank you. Her grin spread wider when he smiled and nodded back. When she got to the chuppah she saw Luke standing there grinning and his eyes wet. Instead of going to her place next to Sookie, she stopped and hugged Luke and told him thank you. She started crying when he hugged back and told her he was glad she was back. The bridal procession started and Rory went to go stand by Sookie and watch her mother finally get the whole package.

Luke doesn't remember much of the actual ceremony. He remembers seeing Lorelai walking down the aisle on her father's arm. He remembers Jess punching him slightly in the arm telling him to breathe. He remembers the large smile on Lorelai's face and the hug Rory gave him when she made it down the aisle. Suddenly, he and Lorelai are kissing and the tent of people erupts into cheering and yelling. Obviously, he said what he needed to say at the proper moments because they were just declared Mr. and Mrs. Danes.

As Lorelai walked down the aisle she had no thoughts of 'oh no this is forever' or that she needed to leave. She was nervous true, because what bride isn't, but the second she saw Luke standing at the chuppah, looking uncomfortable in his suit and flannel tie, which she will need to mock him about once the ceremony was over, she knew that Luke was forever. With that thought in her head and the sight of her daughter, who was once lost, standing there, waiting for Lorelai to walk up and complete their family, the already present grin grew bigger. As she walked down the aisle, women in the audience sighed hoping that they had the kind of love that she had because Lorelai Gilmore had the look that only true love can give a girl.

The ceremony rushed by too quickly for Lorelai, who wanted to savor the slight tremor in Luke's voice as he said that he would take her in sickness and health, coffee and junk food, forever and ever. She wanted to imprint in her heart and soul the way she felt when she put the ring on Luke's finger and felt him brush the tears off her cheeks. Before she was ready the ceremony was over and she was kissing her new husband. Lorelai looked up at Luke, happiness overwhelming her features and started to laugh at the stunned, deer in head lights look on his face.

"Nice tie Mr. Danes," she said with a smile.

"Nice stockings there, Mrs. Danes," Luke responded catching a peek of them as they walked together up the aisle, whistles and cheers in their ears.

"They were much needed gifts."

"Hey, you two, you're holding up the procession. I would like to get some cake sometime soon," said Rory from behind them as they had stopped halfway up the aisle to kiss again.

Lorelai smiled to herself and dragged Luke up the rest of the aisle to where Kirk was waiting with one of her father's classic cars that would drive them to the Dragonfly. She didn't care that her mother would make her stand in one of the stupid receiving lines, she was just glad that after thirty odd years she and her parents finally were getting along. She turned her head and saw her daughter looking back at her, mouthing I love you to her. She mouthed it right back, thrilled the Rory finally seems to be finding her way. As Luke pulled her into the car, yelling at Kirk to put up the partition, she started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" asked Luke as he pulled her onto his lap.

"I just can't believe you got Jess to wear that tie."

"It just took some persuading."

"I hope it isn't the kind of persuading you use for me because otherwise, buddy, we have some serious issues to work through."

"Lorelai?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up," said Luke, kissing her quite passionately.

Lorelai sighed and pressed herself closer to Luke. She finally had it all. A smart, worldly daughter who was going to make her dreams come true, parents that approved of her life, and a husband that she loved more than she thought possible.

Lorelai pulled away from Luke with a smile. "I love you."

"Love you too, Mrs. Backwards Baseball Cap. Love you, too," responded Luke kissing her again.

As Lorelai lost herself in her husband's kiss she couldn't help but think that finally she had the whole package and it was more amazing than she thought.

**AN2: A final word. I really hate Christopher and this new daughter that appears. I hate November, but as Luvs says we must be Zen. Happy endings will occur. I hope everyone enjoyed this wild ride. I hope to back soon. **


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